Blood and Tears (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Seven

The ride home was actually less awkward than I expected. I was so happy when Ashley climbed out of the front seat and got in the back with me. I could hardly concentrate on anything else but his fingers intertwined with mine. I found it extremely funny that we our skin was almost exactly the same shade of pale. I never thought I would see the day when I found someone as pale as me.

I also found it funny (but weird) how Ashley was so warm. I mean, I was always cold and it really sucked. But Ashley, he was warm all the time. Not hot, but just right. It was weird.

When Leah pulled into my driveway, I groaned. I didnt want to get out.

"Aw, you don't want to leave me, I see." Ashley smirked. I looked at him and pouted. "But I can stay if you want." Ashley looked at me suggestively and I giggled.

"HELLO! Female in the car!" Lee hollared but I could see the grin on her face. She was happy for me. I was happy that she was happy for me.

"No, my dad will be home soon," I said, my good mood disappearing like that.

"So, he's going to have to find out about us sooner or later. Right?" Ashley absent-mindedly played with my fingers.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," I muttered.

"Why? Doesn't he know?" I could tell that Leah was getting uncomfortable because she was starting to fidgit.

"Maybe I should leave. I could use a walk or something," she said, turning to face the backseat.

I looked at Ashley. "Actually, we'll take a walk. I don't live too far from here. I can walk home later. Thanks, Leah. See you tomorrow," Ashley answered. My heartbeat started to speed up, the way it always did when I was about to be confronted about my home situation.

'Okay, if you're sure." Leah looked really relieved.

"See ya, Lee. Thanks for the ride," I said, opening the car door. I didn't want her to leave now. I wasn't ready to have this talk. I might never be.

Ashley let go of my hand to get out of the car and he walked over to my side. I got out as well and said one last goodbye to Leah. I heard her whisper "good luck," before I shut the door. I might've imagined it, but it totally seemed like something she would say.

I watched her car disappear, and I jumped slightly when I felt Ashley slip his hand back into mine. It was so nice to finally have someone to do this with. It made me so happy. I hadn't been happy in a long time.

"So..." We started walking slowly down the block. "You're dad doesn't know that you're gay. Does your mom?" My heart stopped as he said that word. I felt pain in my chest and a ringing in my ears. He didn't know. It wasn't his fault.

Even so, his simple question took my back in the past to a place I didn't want to be. Into the memories that I'd shoved down for so long. It was inevitable for this to happen. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

I shut my eyes and the images and memories flashed in front of my eyes.

**Flashback**

I was seven years old again and coming home from my first day of third grade. I was so excited to tell my mom about my day that I was practically bouncing. I flung the front door wide open, not bothering to shut it, and ran up the stairs to where my mom would be in her bedroom.

Every day when I came home from school, my mom would just be waking up from her nap. She would stretch, yawn, and take me downstairs to fix my a peanut butter and jelly sandwich shaped like a star for a snack.

I came to the top of the stairs and turned to right to go into my parent's bedroom. The door was open a crack so I slowly opened it. My eyes went to the bed first but it was empty. I couldn't see much else.

I opened the door enough to slip through and looked around. "Mom?" I called softly. The bathroom door was shut but I could see the light underneath the door. She must be in there. I went to the door and knocked. "Mom," I called again.

There was no answer. I opened the door. "Mom." Still no answer. I opened the door the rest of the way, my eyes widening with what I saw. My mom was slumped against the toilet, her eyes closed. She looked really peaceful that I almost thought she was sleeping... If it weren't for the blood seeping down her skull and pooling around her legs. "Mom..."

I stumbled into the bathroom and sat down next to her. I touched the side of her face, my little fingers stained red. I stared at the blood, hardly breathing. Not knowing what else to do, I grabbed her hand in mine and started murmuring her name over and over. "Mom, Mom, Mom..."

I just wanted her to wake up and make me my sandwich. I think I was too little to fully understand what was going on. I sat there until my dad got home from work. I felt tears start to slip down my face when he ripped me away from my mother, my hand slipping from hers.

The impact of what she did hit me full force when I saw the cold-looking metal from the gun, resting in her other hand. I understood what she had done, even though I was too young and shouldn't have. My mother left me. She didn't want to be with me.

I stopped crying immediately. I stopped crying and hadn't cried since.

**End of Flashback**

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sorry this chap. is short..

i started writing this chapter happy and excited. i found something out that really made me sad so sorry this chap is depressing and short becuz i just cldnt write right now:( sorry