RANT: I am so pissed I wrote all Author's notes and was ready to publish this but then my computer decided to be a potato and acts up on me -.-" and I lost this chapter so I needed to write this once again.... ( Sorry Jenni this goes out to you if you wondered if i died or pulled ur leg..)
A/N -> So this is were you find out about what happened 1 year ago... BUT dont be like "What? Is this all, i thought it would be more than that.. well we all have our fear peak so yeah...) Plus it would be too clichee if it were any more damaging... more at the end...
Where there's shadow there is light
love is in the battle cry
even in the darkest night
there is shadow and there is light
Chapter 30
Aimee P.o.V
When Jace kissed me I knew that I coudn’t run away anymore. I need to tell him everything and I am not just talking about how I feel about him.
“So I kinda remembered everything I said last night.” I started feeling really awkward.
“Did you remember everything we did?” Jace asked with a sexy smirk. Oh he is so loving seeing me this embarrassed.
“Jerk,” I whispered with intention of him hearing me. And he did but he just chuckled at me saying how cute am I being.
“I love you too.” He then suddenly said. My head snapped to him with such speed that I was surprised it didn’t hurt. When I looked Jace in the eyes the same hazel eyes that drove me crazy I knew he was being honest. And that was the moment my world began to run different colors. Sound cheesy but it was the truth. I wanted to say something but Jace wasn’t finished.
“I love you. I accept you for the person that you are. I’ll never wish you to change into someone who you aren’t. I do not expect perfection from you just as you do not expect it from me. I’ll stand through the worst times with you because of how much I love you. I fight for what we have and will never let you go. I love you not just when you are fun to be around but also when you’re down or in a bad mood.” Jace finished. I knew he was speaking from the heart and it only made it harder for me to hold my tears in.
“Even if I have pug mania?” I asked.
“Even with your pug mania, I love you.”
“Even if I love unmade beds?” I then asked again through my tears. Jace just nodded and hugged me tight. His warm quickly made me feel loved and safe once again.
While still being in his arm I said the words I wanted to say to him a while back. “I’ve fallen for your laugh, which is utterly contagious. I’ve fallen for your smile, which makes me giddy for no reason at all. I’ve fallen for our jokes, which I’ll remember days later and burst into laughter. I’ve fallen for how you can make my day better even if I wanted to cry a minute before. I’ve fallen for every second I get to spend with you, even if those seconds will always leave me wanting more.” With that I know that from this moment on Jace could easily break me any moment in the future but I didn’t care because I loved him that much.
“I really am in love with you Aimee and I am not letting go of this feeling.” Jace whispered. I finally pulled away from Jace a little and kissed him on the lips quickly.
“Jace I am afraid of falling.” I whispered knowing that this is the moment I been waiting for to tell him my story. Even if he might have not known what I meant he said. “I’ll always catch you.” And I knew that Jace would never judge me for what happened that night. I squeezed his hand and told him to get comfortable because I have some long story to tell him. He lay down with me besides him.
“Have you ever wondered which hurts the most: saying something wishing you had not, or saying nothing and wishing you had?” I started while still holding Jace’s hand knowing that I don’t not couldn’t let go anytime soon.
“I haven’t thought about it but I guess it depends on the situation.” Jace then answered after a while.
“For me it always was the second one. I always knew that I had to tell the truth but feeling afraid didn’t help me at all.” I said the last part very quietly.
“I am not therapist but I promise I’ll listen and I’ll care. I also promise that my view of you wouldn’t change,” Jace whisper after putting some of my hair behind my ear. And just like that I started to tell the whole story, which happened more than year ago.
***
One year ago.
“So, tell me again why are you dragging me to this party? You know I’m not the partying type. Besides they all hate me anyway.” I murmured to Sky as she was literally dragging me by my hand to this house. Sky wanted to have as she puts it a ‘fun time’ with all her best friends and seeing as someone was hosting a party she thought that it was the perfect opportunity to have that ‘fun’.
“No they don’t hate you they are just jealous of you. The cheerleaders wants to have your beauty plus body and guys wants to be with you, they just don’t know how to show it,” Said back Sky. She was really convicted about her speech also. I just shook my head but continued to trail behind her. Oh well, we are already here so I’ll not ruin their fun by being a party pooper. Maybe I just hide in some of the rooms they have there.
When I stepped inside someone’s house the party was in full swing already. Straight away we made our way to the kitchen were we knew our other friends were located.
“Fancy meeting you here sexy,” purred Blue as soon as he saw Sky in her dress. She just rolled her eyes at him but I knew she was enjoying his attention as always. Blue and Sky left to dance, leaving me to chat with Alex and Nali. Even though Alex was new at our school, he became very quickly one of my good friends. Sky said that I just need to step on my game and flirt with him a little bit more ‘cause as she put it ‘you’ll be the perfect model-like couple’, but I never felt anything for him and I knew he was feeling the same way. Nali was telling me about her recently getting a new job in model industry. I was happy for her, she most definitely have the right looks with her blond hair and blue eyes.
After a while I was sitting alone, not that I minded. Someone came and started to flirt with Alex begging him to dance with her so he left apologetically. Then Nali shouted something about seeing a ‘Sex on the stick’ and run off telling she will be right back. I just chuckled at her telling to take her time.
About ten minutes later I decided to go upstairs. There’s nothing wrong with me getting a little rest from the whole party, what could possibly go wrong?
“What we have here?” Someone asked as they opened the room where I was. It was Blake, the jerk. Well, the jerk is too kindly if you want to describe Blake. He was my bully number one. And I’m not talking in that cute bullying way when the guy secretly likes the girl so he bullies her to get her attention. NO, Blake bullies me every chance he got always secretly so no one of my friends knows. Just yesterday at school he pushed me against the wall only ‘cause I was in his way. I might have forgotten to mention that the hall was empty and could fit like seven people walking by each other.
“Oh kitten, don’t be afraid.” He started to walk closer to me. I looked around the room trying to find my way out as quickly as possible.
“I’ll only do you a favor I am sure nobody will ever kiss you cause you are so ugly, what do you say boys let show her the fun we can have?” Only then I noticed that he wasn’t alone. I looked at the door and found about couple of more guys all smirking at me. They weren’t from my school, must be Blake’s others druggie friends.
He and his friends creeped on me, I tried to get out but they stood on my way out of this room as I now call hell. I knew I shouldn't have come to this party or to this room to take a rest from the party. As he slowly took his place right in front of me I tried to take a step back only to meet with a window behind me. Now I knew I don´t have a way out of this. Blake also smelled so bad that I swear a noseless person like Voldemort would have been able to smell it from a mile away. I would laugh at my own joke if I wasn’t that terrified.
Blake kept staring at me like a lion stares at his pray and I guess that what I was at the moment. He took my hands in his one arm, he was strong thanks to football and hard practices, with other hand he moved my face forwards to his he didn’t need much cause he was just a couple of inches taller than me.
When he kissed me it felt awful. My first kiss shouldn’t feel this way. The one hand that wasn’t holding my hands was slowly making its way up my back. His hand felt so cold and it made my skin go goose booms and not in a good way. I tried to wiggle myself out but nothing was really working. I felt as his hand was already at my bras claps. I felt his pedo smile and slowly started to lose hope.
It felt even more awful when he touched my chest through my bra. It hurt so badly when he kept squeezing and grabbing them with so much force. I wanted to gag, but it only made Blake push his tongue into my mouth. The strong taste of alcohol hit my taste buds, trying not to think about how badly I wanted to throw up I bitted his tongue, hard. The taste of blood soon followed, but because of the shock Blake’s grip on me loosened and he finally let go of my hands. With free hands I quickly putted them on his shoulders and hit him in family jewels as hard as I could.
When Blake’s friends realised what I have done they weren’t happy campers. Despite the kiss being awful and disgusting I still heard all the yelling about them shouting who would be next to as they nicely put it bang me so that I couldn’t walk the next morning.
I knew I wouldn’t have any chances if I don’t do anything now. I couldn’t scream because nobody will hear me, the music was that loud. I also couldn’t use my phone, because it shut down when I came here upstairs. Cursing my luck I did the only thing I could’ve thought of. With my elbow I hit the window behind me as hard as I could. I couldn’t feel any pain at the moment because of the adrenaline rush. I was thankful that the window was big enough for me to go through it, but cursing at it at the same time ‘cause I knew it also was big enough for Blake and his friends.
As I was at the roof I looked for ladder or any kind escape. Once again luck wasn’t on my side, as I saw no way out. I looked carefully from the edge and noticed that the fall would be too high with getting no damages. As I still kept looking down I haven’t noticed that Blake and his three other friends were already at the roof.
"Oh, honey you shouldn’t have done that. Now I am very angry so you'll pay for it with your body. I must say the roof is smart choice, now for sure nobody will hear you as you scream my name," he said with dark evil laugh. His friends soon joined him shouting again that I will scream their name also. They were all completely nuts. Is this effect from the drugs they took? As I looked at them I saw humans, but no humanity.
I was so scared so fucking scared that my legs kept coming closer and closed to the edge. I knew I had to do it. Even if I die it was better than what these monsters have in plan for me. Blake looked me and when he realised that I was stepping away from him, he looked angry. I guess he didn’t think that I would really jump or anything.
Just as I stepped over the edge I started to fall. With a reflex my hand reached out to the roofs’ edge. I knew the fall was my only escape but it seems as if my body wanted to prevent the fall. So here I was hanging on the roof, and my fingertips were slowly letting go one by one. Once again I looked down hoping that maybe there was someone outside so I could scream for help, but as I saw no one I knew I had the worst of luck, falling from the roof of the back of the house where there was absolutely nobody to see me. I started to hear Blake’s crazy laugh, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying as I had some more important things to think about. I felt my last two fingertips finally letting go, excepting my fate.
***
Finally I looked at Jace only now noticing how blurry my vision really was. All the flashbacks from that night finally crushed back. The never ending nightmares, the terrifying feeling of not knowing what to do it was all too much. I knew I could have it worst but it didn’t relax me at all. Blake cruel smile keep hunting me and I always waits for him to jump me any time.
Jace pulled me closer to him, so I was almost on top of him. I continued to sob into his neck for a long time. His scent calmed me down a little. They say you can only cry about thirty-fire tears at once, but it seemed so much more had been down my cheeks. Despite all the tears I couldn’t but feel also relieve that I finally told someone what have been eating me alive for the last year.
After finally calming down I looked Jace in the eyes only to find them full with fury. I knew his anger wasn’t direct at me, but I miss the warm look he always gives me. I touched his cheek gently and tried to smile but I knew it wasn’t reaching my eyes.
Jace P.o.V.
As I was listening to her story I really wanted to hit that piece of shit. I knew that someone will most definitely get a trip to the hospitals once I come back to school. I remembered all the flinching she did when I said some type of words, how she reacted when our make out seasons went a little too steamy, but I also remembered something that made me really wanting to find Blame right now and kill him with my bare hands.
“That time when you and Liam were in nurse’s room, it was Blake also wasn’t it?” I prayed that I was wrong but seeing Aimee’s eyes I knew it was Blake fault. I hugged Aimee tighter. I never want to let go of her and even if it will be my last thing to do on earth I will protect her till my very last breathe.
“You’re too beautiful for getting hurt and crying because of that fucker,” I whispered into her ear. Aimee seemed to relax and I just continue to hold her tight. “You don’t have to tell be, but what happened after that?” I asked hoping she would not freak out. She gulped but still told me and I don’t know if I wanted to really know anymore.
“After my fingertips finally gave up on me, I remember falling down. The fall lasted just couple of seconds but it felt a lot longer. It’s funny that they say that your whole life will flash before you in those kinda situations. For me it was Blake’s cruel smile that kept playing through my head as I continued to fall. When the impact finally came I felt the pain going through my whole body. It felt as if billion little needles were pushed into my body. I guess my luck was still there with me seeing as I haven’t died but the table I crushed on didn’t help my pain. As I crushed the table beneath me it broke and made a loud noise. As I was on the grown someone finally saw me and rushed to me. I couldn’t really remember the girl but she had the gentlest eyes I have ever seen. She shouted someone’s name and then the guy came rushing to her. He looked scared maybe thinking that something happened to her but seeing that she was fine relaxed a bit. I remember begging her to find a Japanese looking girl as I told her Sky’s name the girl run off leaving me with the guy. I must say after what Blake has done I started to shake scared to be with the guy alone. He tried to lift me but I only began to shake more. Of course he didn’t know the reason why I was so out of my mind. The guy must have thought I was some crazy chick trying to jump of the roof of something.” Aimee chuckled sadly.
“He didn’t try anything, right?” I asked gulping really hard.
“No, he was nice or as nice as you can be to a girl who just as he thought jumper from the roof,” she said, well I was glad that the guy didn’t make it worse. She then continued with her story.
“Not even a couple of minutes later the girl was back with Sky and the gang behind her. She was yelling something about them all looking for me and that I was a potato for not to answering any of the calls they were making. Then her shouting stopped as she came closer to me. I still remember the broken look she was giving me as if it was her with all that pain I was still feeling at that point. Maybe she did felt pain but only emotionally seeing as her best friend was on the floor looking broken. I on the other hands felt physical and mental pain. After Sky somehow put herself together she quickly called 911. After the ambulance came soon the police arrived also to dismiss the party.” She whispered seeing as she didn’t have the power to talk normally anymore. I stroked her hair gently encouraging her to tell the story till the end.
“When I was in hospital it turned out I had a broken elbow with a broken right leg. Also let not forget few broken ribs and dozens of scars that if you look closely I have till this day. At the hospital my friends and family wanted to know what happened. I really wanted to tell them but I couldn’t. So I did the only thing I could. I lied. I told them something along the lines of me not enjoying the party and wanting to rest so the roof seemed the cool place to do it. Also me being a clumsy person I am slipping and falling from the roof. Of course my family was angry at first thinking that I was drank or something but the blood test showed that I was completely sobbed so they couldn’t do anything but to believe me.” She finished in a small voice that nearly broke my heart.
“I wanted to tell them, but never knew how so when Logan helped me that time with Blake he made a deal to tell him my story when he tells me his.” She looked at me checking if I was angry that Logan knew her story first. I smiled at her; there was no reason for me to be angry at her or Logan. My only anger was directed at Blake and I knew he would pay soon, very soon.
“I think you are brave.” I told her honestly when she knew I wasn’t angry at her or Logan.
“After all that I have told you, you think I am brave?” She whispered, looking at me like I was the craziest person out there.
“You are,” I kissed her lips and then continued. “In school where Blake can come at you any time, you still are going there. You are not wrong, this world is wrong. We’re surrounding by people who will do anything to make themselves amusing, continuously tearing others down in the process.”
Aimee looked at me with tears in her eyes and I panicked that I said something to upset her more. “Please don’t cry. I hate seeing you upset.” I whispered touching her lips slightly. She shook her head and hugged me hiding her face in my neck.
“You think I am crazy,” she whispered still not showing her beautiful face to me. To tell the truth I have no idea from where she got that idea but I need to make that thought disappear from her head right now. I lifted her face so that she could look me in the eyes and see the honesty of my words.
“You have been hurt so many times and I am sorry for not being there any sooner for you. You may think that it might have been your entire fault but I am telling you it wasn’t. You been at the bottom deep deep, but trust me you are never going back there. I will keep you up; I will be there for you. Let me hold you, help you. Let me be besides you and take care of you. You aren’t crazy it’s just sometimes every one collapse to the rock bottom.” I continued to whisper because it seemed wrong to say those words any louder. From this moment on I knew there is no way I am ever leaving this girl. I may be too young and clueless but this just feels too right not to last a lifetime. I never believed in soul mates, but destiny proved me wrong.
“You know, they say there is a part of the human chest that if you strike it hard enough the person’s heart explodes. This sounds like such a lie that I have to believe it’s the truth. If I were science, I’d never tell anyone, where this place is. If I were science, I’d have named this this place after you.” She told me shyly. I just smiled at her warmly and stroked her cheek. Aimee truly was beautiful and pure. I will do anything to protect her not that I haven’t thought about protecting her before just now I am more conscious.
Aimee wiggled a bit to find a more comfortable position when I finally noticed that she still had her bikinis on. I pulled a shirt when I chased her but her nearly naked state didn’t really help at all. She looked at me with her rosy cheeks as if she knew why I started to breathe a little deeper. Or maybe she did know? I couldn’t take it any longer and kissed her. The familiarity of her lips felt like home.
Just as it started to get to the point with no return I heart shouts from the outside.
“We know you are there, stop sucking each other face and come out. It’s already five o’clock so if you kindly leave the baby making for later I would be very grateful.” The voice definitely belonged to Sky. Only she could say that stuff and not be ashamed.
“It seems that the lady wants us out,” Aimee said with amused expression.
“Pfft, what lady?” I asked with a straight face.
“I HEARD THAT!!!” Sky shouted near our trailer’s door. Geez, that girl sure is everywhere.
When we got out and joined the gang they didn’t ask us about anything for that I was very thankful. The time went faster than expected and once again it was time for our campfire. This time we didn’t drink, just sat and talked about everything. Aimee was for some reason very tense so I tried to calm her down.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered to her. She looked at me and after thinking that she wouldn’t respond said something that made me proud. “I am thinking about telling them.” I knew about what she wanted to tell. I smiled at her and gave her hand a squeeze. About twenty minutes later Aimee seemed to finally overcome her fear.
“Guys, there’s something that I want to tell you.” Aimee started with a shaky voice. I continued to hold her hand for courage. I knew this wasn’t easy for her, but in my mind she needed to do this.
“Sure go ahead.” or “What’s up?” followed soon. I knew they all aren’t expecting what Aimee will tell them, but it needs to be done. I know they will understand. Aimee took a huge breath looked at me then at the fire and started to tell the same story that she told me.
Through the story I noticed the girls’ tears and guys’ angry expressions. Not that even though I’ve already heard the story made me any less angry. When Aimee finally finished her story she looked better than the rest. Sky was sobbing, Blue looked really angry which was not the usual, Nali wasn’t better than Sky, Alex looked like he wanted to murder, Logan looked okay I knew he heard the story before not that it made him any calmer but still, Mia didn’t cry as hard or loud as Sky or Nali but still looked heartbroken. I guess they never really knew of how much pain Aimee carried with her. Her smile seemed so real that they never questioned it before. Now that the secret was out I think they didn’t know what to do.
“I am sorry,” said finally Sky. At first I was confused why she was apologizing, it wasn’t her fault that Blake was such a f¤ckup. But then I understood that she was blaming herself for making Aimee go to that party.
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“But I feel like it indeed was my fault. It was my idea to go to the party and I made you go without listening to your refuse.” Continued to cry Sky.
“Sky I don’t think it was your fault and you should know it. I love you as my friend and sister.” When Sky heard that from Aimee she just cried more. Seeing as Blue couldn’t calm her, Aimee gave me an apology look and went to hug Sky. I totally understood that.
“I feel like such a bad friend ‘cause I didn’t know anything.” Admitted then Nali she wasn’t crying now but she sure looked very sad. I did get her. When you find out something big like this from your close friend you start to blame yourself with stuff like ‘Why didn’t I noticed anything’ or ‘I should’ve been a better friend’. I have a little similar situation in the past but for me it’s in the past and I am not going back to that person.
I got lost in my thoughts and when I finally looked at the girls they were all already in the group hug. Even Mia somehow found her way to then.
“Wanna start planning his dead now?” Said Blue next to me suddenly.
“You must read my mind. But if we are doing it that must be a very good planned plan.” I said back quietly. I will make Blake pay but I will never tell anything about it to Aimee. She doesn’t need to know plus no matter how much she hates him I know she wouldn’t want me to do anything with him. Now it was too late for that.
“We are also in no matter how hard the plan will be.” Said Alex and showing that Logan is in also. Well this is gonna be fun.
“What are you whispering about there like little girls?” Asked Sky.
“Oh shush you were crying like a baby not so long ago, plus we established last night who is the boss.” Smirked Blue. This couple seriously will be the end of me.
“Okay TMI,” said Aimee with a small smile. To see that smile on her face I will do anything. That is why I need to teach Blake a lesson or a few lessons. I thing I mostly need the guys to help me back off at the end or I will seriously end killing him on the spot.
Once again we were sitting near fire and this time I noticed that it was Mia who looked kinda uneasy. She was gripping Logan’s hand too hard but he kept quiet.
“Uhm.. I know this wasn’t supposed to turn into some kind of therapy session but I also have something to tell you.” Mia started unsure.
“I know what she will say.” Aimee whispered into my ear. I just nodded and hugged her closer to me.
“You may not know but I wasn’t born blind…”
When she told us all about her family, her being a strong fighter, meeting Logan, wanting Logan, their happy time, accident, waking up blind, visiting Logan when he was in coma, him blaming himself, him leaving her, home schooling, even I started to feel bad and depressed but then it all turned fine when Aimee drugged Logan to see her. Now I know what they did when they went somewhere together and it made me even more mad at myself remembering how I reacted to it that day.
Still it didn’t prevent all of us apart from Aimee glaring at Logan.
“Guys no need to glare at Logan he knows he did wrong but he loves Mia very much so leave him alone.” Here goes my wise lovely girlfriend once again.
“Thanks Aimee.” Said Mia.
“Naaah she is chill because she already got a chance to hit and shout at me before I came to you that day as you all now know.” Said Logan. Well that may also be true.
“You got me there.” Aimee chucked. I love her so much. And when she was happy I was the happiest also.
“I feel like we were in some kinda show with all those stories coming out.” Admitted Nali and we all nodded. But seeing as all the secrets were out it just made us closer and stronger.
“Well now that all the secrets are out LETS PARTY PEOPLE.” Shouted Alex and like that the mood was back.
“Before that lets make something to eat its dinner time now and then we can play as much as you want.” Said Nali.
“Sound good to me.” Said Aimee and we all agreed.
---------A/N--------
So yeah it wasnt rape ( i think many of you thought it was, SorryNotSorry) that Aimee went through but seriously its not like it was a small thing for her emotionally either. Plus I really hate even thinking about that hardcore stuff :( I like cry every time i read something about that horrible. I know that stuff happens way too many times in real world but MY BOOK MY RULES ! So yeah once again SorryNotSorry.
Anyways to the brighter things now there is no secrets between Aimee and Jace ... MUAHAHAHAHAH NOT REALLY ... ( my evilness comes out) there is still couple things that were left untold well unwritten in this case.. If you read between the lines you may know what secrets is yet to be revealed. Are you a smart cookie? Well lets see...
The Song: Kyler England- Battle Cry ! ( GO AND LISTEN TO THIS SONG FO REAL )
The Pic: LOVE THE LINE THAT JACE SAID :D Fits with the books name actually :)
Stay tuned and be well<3
Love and hugs,
Sabina, xoxo
PS. I seriously feel stupid cause I needed to remember what I wrote the first time but I know I definitely left something out... oh well...
