The Years After (on hold)

The Year Before

Jade’s P.O.V:

The last year had been hell. Our family has been lost without the guidance of my father. He passed away in late November of last year from cancer. Things had been terrible without him. My mum hid in her room half of the day, only to come out for meals or chores.

The only person that could make me forget about all of that was my boyfriend Jai. He was part of a small YouTube channel with 4 other people. Their names were Beau, James, Daniel and Luke. They called themselves the Janoskians (Just Another Name Of Silly Kids In Another Nation).

Jai had always been there for me since my dad’s death. When I get the urge to cut he would always come over and calm me down even though he lived half an hour away.

Tonight the urge to cut was really bad. It was the one year anniversary of his death. I couldn’t sleep because the events kept playing back in my mind.

***Flashback to 1 year ago***

We were sitting in the cold, white waiting room waiting for the doctor to tell us if the surgery was a success. Jai, Beau, James, Luke, Daniel, my mum and myself were sitting together on the hard, wooden chairs.

I dozed off with my head on Jai’s shoulder and went into a dreamless sleep. I woke with a start and almost fell off of my chair but Jai caught me. The doctor was standing there with his clipboard resting against his chest.

“I’m afraid it’s not good news. He didn’t respond well to the treatment and died through the night.” He then went on saying that he didn’t feel any pain and that he died in his sleep. Like that makes a difference.

The night went by in a daze. I barely remember the rest of the night which was filled with tears.

When I got home I ran to the bathroom and had a shower. When I got out I dried off and got into my pyjamas. That was when I saw it. The razor was on the vanity with a shiny, silver blade in it. I had only cut once before. That was when I had broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years. After I had done that I met Jai and was happy again.

This time the blade was right there. I took the blade out of the razor and guided it over my skin. The pain of the day seeped away when I concentrated on the blade and making swift cuts along my tan skin.

Once I was finished I cleaned the blade, put it back on the vanity and grabbed some tissues and put them on my fresh cuts.

***End of flashback***

I hadn’t cut since then but the urge was getting strong today as the events wouldn’t stop replaying in my mind. I decided to text Jai because he has talked me out of cutting many times before.

Jade: Hey babe could you come over? Feeling sad, need company xoxo <3

Hi guys this is my first story so leave your comments and opinions thanks <3