billie falls in love with an older man when she was 15. they break up later on beacuse he's to old for her. she starts never leaving the house hates everything and her eating disorder starts coming up.
billie im taking a moring shower and looking up letting the warm water hit my face . i just think and think but then it hits me...i haven't weighed myself in three days. 15mins later i finally get out,slip on my bra and underwear. i check for the scale and see it under the sink and take it out . my dumbass forgot that i need to take my bra off. i'm losing some boob weight so i'm not sure
i put my bra on the sink and then sigh before getting on the scale
i look up and stand still. then it beeps and i look down.
114
114 what the fuck. i step out and madly grab my bra. i'm 5'3 and 114 last time i was 113 i think . i gained weight fuck...i need some green tea mabye...or i'll have some iced coffee today and my laxivites
114 114 it kept repeating in my head and then i bump into my mom
"BILLIE FOR GOD SAKE" she says and i gasp
"sorry mom.."i walk into my room and then i can feel her scan my body i was naked just in my bra and underwear since i thought she left.
for once my mom asked me
"are you ok?" she says and i turn
"yeah why wouldn't i" i say back and grab a hoodie and sweats .
"um..no no reason" "i'll be back by 11" she says and leaves
i sigh and hear the door shut. i go in the mirror and look at myself. i see myself thin but not...i need to get more thinner.
i start to do some exercise for ab 1 hour...or some two hours...
i finally stopped and showers again
i weighed myself again and 112.are you serious i'm sick of this . i sigh and change
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(i miss these fits)
i walk into the kicten and take my laxitves with some iced coffee.
last week i was really fucking dizzy and i felt heart burn but it's maybe just my head fucking with me or sum.
brandon "mannnnnnnm you got me fucked up " prince laughs
"nah deadass you got to understand that that movie was like atlest....shit...30 years ago?" we laugh . i was pretty high and then prince starts to talk ab girls so i remember her..billie
i sigh and think..billie needs help man i can tell she's doing to much shit to not gain weight or lose more weight. she needa understand she can die from what she is doing ..i know it's hard but ..fuck or mabye she is just doin gym..
billie i was walking back to my room when i felt hella dizzy i walk to my bed slowly and steady . i get in bed and i close my eyes mabye that will help..but no i still feel the world spinning...
so much things happen to me...i mean i it raped just two weeks ago...it hurts me and makes me feel so guilty...i just wanna talk to somone to understand me not make me feel like shit. but that can never happen.
