Humans: Book IV

VII

•

The sky is excruciatingly heavy. It's blue. Who gave it the right to be so blue? Disrespectfully blue. And heavy. That's what it is.
My spine feels like it could crack.

The ringing on the phone-line lasts an eternity. I didn't let Peter see Bo for the last time. I didn't know. I couldn't know...

Somebody picks up.

"__..."

"Storm?" I take a long breath, "You guys got back from the mission fast. How did it go? Is Jean okay?"

"Jean..." she takes a moment, "Jean didn't come back with us."

"Well, where did she go then?"

"We don't know. Look, a lot more happened..."

A titanium ball drops in my chest. Hank didn't pick up the phone. Hank usually picks up the phone.
Or Peter...

No. Nothing could've happened to Peter. I try to tame my reeling head. "What happened?" I hope I don't regret asking.

"First of all, Mystique...she's gone. Jean...I don't think she meant to. But Raven is...is dead."

Dead. Bo. Raven. Too many names.

"And there's something else but...maybe I shouldn't be the one to tell you," she adds.

My palms immediately break out in hives. "Peter. Where's Peter? Let me talk to Peter," I beg.

Storm hesitates, "I...I'm going to let you talk to Hank now." There a re a few rumbles of thunder in the phone and cracklings in the mic and she hands it off. I try to feel Peter. I wish I could sense him through the phone.

"__..."

"Hank," I repeat the question with compulsion, "Where's Peter?"

"He was hurt. He had a bad fall and hit his head pretty heard. It was Jean. She threw him to the ground before she killed Raven."

I shake my head, "So...so, what? Peter...Peter's d..." I can't finish the sentence. The tears are swallowing up my face. I'm drowning.

"He's still alive. But he's in a coma. Peter's weak. I...don't know how much energy he's got left in him."

I take a single breath and close my eyes, "Okay. Okay. I can work with that. The second I come back from Bo's funeral I'm doing an energy transfer. I'm waking him up."

Hank's voice is shaking, "__, I don't think you understand. It's...It's gonna take a lot of your energy."

My voice is somehow strong, solid. It's firm as as tell him, "Hank if the options are me or him it's not a choice. It's him. If it takes up all my energy so be it. It's him—"

"But it's not just your energy your giving up anymore..."  He pauses. "Peter told me about the pregnancy test."

My cheeks fill with red. I sit down on the floor before I fall, before my knees give out. My back steadies against the wall of Bo's house. Hank's right. Saving Peter isn't only my sacrifice to make. Saving Peter couldn't just kill me...

It could kill our kid too.

And now I'm stuck in this suffocating chain. It's wrapped around my throat now. Cold metal digging into my tender skin. There's no right choice. Either is going to leave me with profound pain.

"Just...think about it," Hank finally says. "I have to go. We...we have to make some funeral arrangements for Raven."

"I'm sorry Hank." That's all I can say.

"I'm sorry too."

The call ends. Then it's too silent. Then my head is too full of conflict. Civil wars are raging on inside my brain. Not amount of logic can save me know. I'm navigating a swelling river backwards and blindfolded and with no way to steer.

I see Peter's eyes, fresh in my memory. My stomach glows in response. No, there is no right choice now. Either way, I destroy a part of myself.

Either way, I am obliterated.

•

Black. That's what I see. Black. That's what's eating me up inside.

I watch the glistening coffin lower into the earth, deep deep deep into the earth. Sunken in past where the flowers lie. Deep down to be held by the tree roots. I am undone. I want to be held too. I want to be held by him.

The poster plaster with Bo's face smiles at me. It reminds me I'm strong even when I'm worlds away from strength. Mutant and proud. I'm mutant. I'm supposed to be revolutionary, biologically excellent.

But I'm not. I'm only human. Extraordinarily human. Born of dirt. Made of dirt. Destined for dirt. Powers or not. Mutation or not. We're all going to feel pain. We're all going to feel love. We're all going to be and then not be and then maybe be again. That should make things easier right?

I'm clutching on tight. I like things the way they were. I like Bo's soul in his body. I like Peter awake. I'm attached too much to the dirt. I'm planted upside down with my head in the earth.

Somehow it will be okay. Somehow. That's what I keep repeating to myself. Somehow.

I will find a way to defy physics. I will find a way to save them both. I will find a way to be strong. Somehow.

Somehow...

Chapter Dedications

"My hero name would be Lady Morphine. I would have healing/regeneration power. The drawback is if I use too much the patient could become addicted or put them into shock/kill them." -Jammie_Cheshire

"Prism. That's the name of my X-Men OC, and I adore her. She's my precious child! She has the ability of augmented reality and her powers look prismatic." -robin_robinson