Vidcon Romance [YouTube]

The Truth

There's a small YouTube gathering this weekend in Hyde Park. Most of my London YouTube friends are going and I've said that I'm planning to go when really I have no intention on going. I get to visit Dexter this weekend and there is no way I'm passing on that. I haven't even made a video, never mind uploaded one in over a month now. Many people were tweeting that I don't care about my viewers, that I only did it for the money and now that I've got all the money I wanted I've given up. Yeah, it's true, I got paid for it but I did it because I loved it. I ended up deactivating my twitter, my facebook and I deleted my Instagram. Bethan has given up asking me what's up and she doesn't even really talk to me anymore. No one does. It doesn't surprise me, I'm not exactly a joy to be around. There is only one upside to everything that's going on in my life right now, because I have no social networking distractions and no friend distractions, I have time to focus everything on my school work. My teachers say that I'm doing really well and that I've already reached my end of year targets in most of my subjects. I know that it's a good thing and so I know to continue working how I am but I don't seem to have it in me to care about it. My parents don't know, I haven't told them, even if I did they wouldn't care.

It's Thursday now, two days until I can see Dexter. I don't know if mum and dad are coming with me, we haven't discussed, although that's probably because dad is never home. He's either at the pub, a night club or at the off licence buying more alcohol. Mum has turned to tidying. She tidies the whole house all day and probably all night. When I wake up she's cleaning and when I go to bed she's still cleaning. Our house is silent and it's horrible. I wish they'd just talk to me, or each other. Any chance I had of telling anyone about Dexter is gone, I don't even have Bertie to tell anymore.

"Jenna," mum calls from downstairs. I sit in my desk chair shocked until she calls me again. We haven't spoken in ages.

"Hi," I croak, clearing my throat.

"Wheres's your father?" she asks, not looking at me.

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" I snap.

"Already tried the pub, dear," she replies drearily.

"Are you even listening to me?" I raise my voice.

"Tried tried there too."

"Why even bother fucking calling me downstairs? You never talk to me and when you do you don't pay attention to what I'm saying!" I shout but it doesn't phase her.

"Hmm?" mum says, still distracted by the paper she was holding.

"You know what? Fuck you! This is affecting me to but you and dad act like your the only ones! Dexter is my brother and I have no one else, I can't face anyone else, and I thought you'd be here to talk to but you don't even notice me anymore," I trail off into a sob as she doesn't react to my words, still blanking me.

I growl in impatience and turn on my heel to leave the room. I push the vase of wilting flowers off the table, watch it smash on the floor before storming out. I don't give my mum a second glance as I stomp upstairs and begin throwing random items into a bag. No noise comes from downstairs so I assume that mum is still dead to the world as I throw things about my room angrily with no order. Without a goodbye I leave the house, bag in hand, and slam the door.

I make my way to Bethan's house. Before we stopped talking we used to just walk into each others houses without question so without a second thought I let myself in and heave my bag up the stairs. I stand outside her bedroom door and take a deep breath before walking in.

"Bethan I know we haven't talked in a while but I-" I'm cut off with piercing scream. I register the situation in the room and see that Bethan is hiding, half naked, under her duvet. I assume her and Luke were having sex until until I realise that the guy has black hair not Luke's ginger locks.

"Jenna!" Bethan gasps, looking frantically between me and this guy,"I can explain."

"Wheres's Luke?" I ask flatly.

"He's um," she blushes, "he's at Starbucks."

"Do not tell me he's waiting for you!" I exclaim and she looks down, "is it going to be a date?"

"I can explain, please Jenna," she pleads, pulling a t-shirt on and jumping out of bed.

"I cannot fucking believe you," I shout, running out of the door, bag in hand, "don't you even dare follow me, just getting back to fucking that guy, you have just lost something great in your life- Luke! And you fucking deserve it!"

I slam the front door for the second time that day and take a deep breath. Today is turning out great.

ahh so sorry for not uploading, I have no excuse but I'm feeling creative right now so I'm going to write as many chapters as possible now and upload them all. I'm going to finish this story once and for all but I won't rush it.