It's (not) gonna be okay [bnha] [todoroki] [fuyumi]

chapter 3

A few days later at the UA

Todoroki's POV
I'm still nervous about going to school...not only the fear of father beating me for not being the best but also my fear of having a panic attack in front of everyone what would they th-
My thoughts were cut of by a boy with midori(green) hair.
"hi I'm izuku" he said
I didn't know what to do...I were nervous and just wanted to die instead of answering...I'll do everything wron-
"uhm...are you ok?" he cut my thoughts off again
Oh no was it that obvious...
"yes thanks" I said trying not to stutter
"aaand...what's your name?" he asked
"Todoroki Shoto"
"Just try to be normal and don't let him notice how close you're to a panic attack" I though to myself
"hey I uhm...I n-need to go" I said
Damn I stuttered...That sounded that weird I wanna die...but first I need to find the bathroom so no one sees my panic attack
You're weak
No one will ever like you
They hate you because you're weak
You're useless
I finally found the bathroom and stormed inside hoping nobody was in there.

Midoria POV
Why did he leave...and where did he go to?...
Was it my fault? Did I say something wrong? He looked nervous...
I should search him
*5 minutes later*
Where did he go?... He can't have left school we still had classes later.
Then I heared something that sounded like his voice.
It came from the bathroom so I went in the bathroom...and I was shocked of what I saw...Todoroki was sitting on the ground with his hands on his ears and crying.
I closed the door and walked closer
"shut up! Please..." he shouted
At first I fought he meant me but I didn't say anything yet.
I didn't say anything until I were next to him. I grabbed his shoulder and he looked scared at me. I tried to calm him down but he started to cry more and was very nervous.
I hugged him and asked him what was going on...the hug seemed to calm him down and he told me that he had a panic attack and that he has them often.
I was so sorry for him...I needed to be there for him.
"why do you help me?..." todoroki asked
"what?"
"Why do you help me?...I'm weak..." he asked again
"You're not weak you're strong for making it through those times and I help you because we're friends" I said

Todoroki POV
I can't believe he helped me... And didn't call me weak
"th-thank you Midoria" I said
The last hours of school where pretty normal except Midoria who was very protective but that made me feel safe so I'm glad about it.

When I arrived at home Endeavor wasn't there but Fuyumi was and asked how school was
"I'm not sure..." I said
"what do you mean?" she asked concerned
"I had a panic attack"
"Oh my god Sho I'm so sorry..." she said

"no it's ok...a boy from my class...izuku helped me" I said
"

Oh good that you have such a good friend" she said "but how do you feel now? Is everything ok?"
"yes everything's good again" I said
"good...do you want to eat something?" She asked hoping I'd say yes.
"no I'm not hungry" I answered
"Sho are you sure? When was the last time you ate something?"she asked a bit worried
"that's not important" I said hoping she wouldn't ask again
"it is...you lost a lot of weight again and if you don't want to eat I won't stop asking till you tell me" she said persistent
"ok then I'll eat something...but not much"
After that we went to the kitchen to prepare some food and then ate
"Sho why don't you eat a bit more?" Fuyumi asked
"I told you I'm not hungry" I said while slowly eating
"But sometimes you have to eat something...Sho please understand me I just don't want you to starve yourself like last year...if something's wrong you can always talk to me" she said calming and nearly making me cry because I'm not worthless in her eyes.
"Sho is everything ok? Why are you having tears in your eyes?" She asked while coming to me
"I'm just glad to have you as a sister" I said now crying
"I'm glad to have you as a brother too" she whispered while hugging me

Timeskip to 10 p.m. that day
"Sho I completely forgot to ask you...and sorry if you remember something because of me...why did you have a panic attack today?"
"That's not that important" I said because it's embarrassing for me to have a panic attack because of such things.
"To me it is...you know that you can tell me everything"she said "no matter whether it's embarrassing or dumb anything
She lies
"no she doesn't!" I whispered aggressively
"the voices again?" she asked
I was that embarrassed by that...I just cried I couldn't stop it.
Weak baby
"stop....be quiet" I whispered
"It's ok Sho I'm here and I won't leave till everything's ok" she said why hugging me and calming me down.
"I-I m-m-must seem crazy..." I said trying not to cry
"no everything's ok Sho you're still the brother that I love no matter if you hear voices or not...and we'll get them out of your head" Fuyumi said smiling
"and could you maybe now tell me why you had a panic attack?" she asked
"because of Midoria..." I said
"ok now I don't understand...I thought he helped you" she said
"He only told me his name and asked me about mine...that was all" I said embarrassed
"hey that's ok I know it's not easy for you" Fuyumi said with a calming voice while still hugging me
"Hey...could you maybe again sleep in my room tonight? It was a hard day and I am afraid of having a nightmare" I asked her looking at the ground.
"yes of course Sho everything that helps you" She said.

Word count 1082

I'm not really sure if I should ship deku with todoroki or not...I'd like to write an outing story from shoto to his sister but I don't want to end up like many other bnha stories
And sorry for the chapter not being that good I'm dead af, it's 2a.m. and I should write an essay for german but I rather write this story😂