Don't Forget to Write

Uncertain Plans & Hearts

Camila and Diane came to meet us and we all had drinks until Bob's raspy voice yelled "Last Call!". The four of us did a shot with Karen and paid our bill. As we walked out I asked Camila if she wanted to spend the night at my place. "I can't, I have a lot of papers and last-minute homework assignments to grade. Besides, shouldn't you be studying for your finals, mister?"

"They're almost a month away, I'll be fine."

She raised her eyebrows at me "Actually, babe, they're only a couple of weeks away."

"No shit." I said, trying to ignore the fact that she just called me "babe". How disgusting. Pet names made my balls shrinks and my skin quiver.

"Yes. Shit. You need to work on your time management. And I really think you should actually study for this. These papers and tests are a huge percentage of your grade."

I shrugged, "I'm pretty good with papers." I hadn't told her about my side business because I wasn't sure how she would react to me breaking the academic system that she herself was a part of. One of the suits in the system. A member of the State of which I was an enemy. She might turn me in. Or, at least, be really mad at me.

"Someone's feeling cocky. Hey, I have a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"So, I'm going to Colombia for a little over a month starting in December," she said, "and I was wondering if you would want to come down for a week or two?"

"Woah." It was a lot of information to process. "You're going to Colombia?"

"Yes, and I want you to come too!"

"Wow. If I can, then yes. But money is really tight, I'm not sure I'd be able to afford a vacation to another continent."

"So that's a no?"

"It's a maybe."

"Maybe sounds a lot like a no."

"Well, let's see what my money situation is and go from there. I'd love to go to Colombia, I'd especially like to be there with you."

"Alright alright, I'll send you ticket prices. Hopefully we can make it work, otherwise, I'll miss ya while I'm gone."

Babe? Miss Me? Holy shit I was in a relationship. How did I let this happen? Hadn't I been more aware of this? More careful to make sure certain boundaries weren't crossed? No! I had been careless! Absolutely careless with my heart and the heart of another person, and god damn it she went and caught legitimate feelings for me. And... what was this? This nagging feeling inside of me? I had genuine feelings for her too. What in the hell was I thinking? Getting myself into a situation so dangerous, so reckless?

We were at the corner, she had to go right and I had to go left. We shared a long kiss, and we both wondered what exactly we were doing, both of us realizing we were transitioning from just getting to know each other to a committed relationship. Overall, I don't think either of us minded. Once I got over the initial shock, I thought maybe it would be nice to be in a comfortable relationship with someone who cared. Maybe it would be worth the fear of heartbreak.

But we didn't talk about any of that. We left those questions unanswered as we walked away from each other.