Don't Forget to Write

A Rough Autumn

"How'd it go?" Bruno asked me.

"You're looking at CCNY's latest drop-out," I said, trying to show Bruno a fake smile without making eye contact.

"They won't let you fight it?"

I explained to him everything I had been told, how there was nothing to be done for me.

"Well, Petey, you had a good thing going for a while. But you flew too close to the sun." I shrugged. I wasn't in the mood for Bruno's poetic comparisons and humorous monologues. He must have sensed it as we stood in silence for a while.

"I messed up."

"Yeah, you did. But you'll be alright."

"Will I?" I tried not to sound to soaked in self-pity. "I don't have a back-up plan, Bruno. This was the perfect school. This is the perfect city. My life was perfect, and I blew it."

"Oh Peter," he said, putting his hand on my shoulder, "your life was far from perfect. It just seems like it was because it's so shitty now."

Strangely, this made me feel better. "You're right, but it wasn't too bad. And I don't see it improving from here."

"Once Camila gets back, things will be better. We'll help you get back on your feet."

"She's not coming back," I explained to Bruno that she had taken a teaching job down in Colombia, about the other guy in her room calling her "babe."

He let out a sigh and said: "It's been a rough autumn, hasn't it brother."

"Like you wouldn't believe."

He shrugged. "Well, the winter equinox is coming up. Maybe it's time for a shift in your life."

"You've been hanging out too much with Karen, that astrology shit is getting into your head."

"I'm just saying, it'll be a new season. Maybe winter will be your time to shine."

"Maybe. But it's not looking too bright for me right now."

"It's going to be alright. I don't know how it'll get better, at least not yet, but I know it will. Like I said, you're a fighter. It's time to put your fists up and get through this." I nodded, but didn't say anything. There was a burning lump in my throat. "Let's go out tonight. Dinner is on me."

I cleared my throat and said, "How'd you know I wanted a drink?"

"Lucky guess," and he smiled in a way that let me know everything really would be fine, eventually.