My Friend Over the Phone

Chapter 17

Nightmare and Cross wandered the Multiverse, both at a loss of where to go for their date. They were banned from basically everywhere. Although no one except for maybe Dream would recognize Nightmare's passive form, everyone knew what Cross looked like, so the supposed 'disguise' was to no avail. They eventually settled on the stereotypical Outertale, thinking it was distant enough with plenty of abandoned areas.

It was about nine in the morning, as they both always tended to wake up early, no matter how long the monochromatic one stayed up.

    They took a nice walk along one of the many empty cliffs, staring down at the endless Void below them, then up at the stars, and the array of small planets and space rocks that made a ring around the main rock of Outertale. The humans of this world didn't really banish them to a bad place like they intended. They actually seemed a lot better off in space, it was better than Earth.

    Silence continued between them. Ever since this relationship started, neither of the really knew what to do. Nightmare was never an openly loving person, and Cross hadn't really talked with anyone in his old Universe at all. He wanted to start a conversation, but he already knows everything about him. He's been wanting a romantic relationship with him for so long, and now that he finally had it, he didn't feel the relief and, well, love he thought he would. He just felt...empty. His doubts were getting the better of him. Why wasn't he as happy about this as they describe in books and movies? Why didn't he feel any burning love or passion? Did he...not love Nightmare the way his soul thought he did? Was it all some cruel illusion? Or was it that he still had something not clarified in the back of his mind that was getting in the way? He didn't know, and he hoped he was just overreacting. He wanted Nightmare to be loved, and he didn't want this to continue if he didn't really love him.

    But he had to, because the thought of not really loving him was tearing him apart. The thought of him having a perfect life with someone who wasn't him. A life that was worthwhile, while he just sat in the sidelines with a grin plastered onto his face. Clapping for them, while only being thought of as a friend to Nightmare, and not someone who was worthy of his soul.

    He suddenly felt sick. He started frantically wondering if Nightmare didn't love him this way either. He remembered him saying that he wanted to take it slow, as he wasn't used to the whole 'relationship' idea yet. Other than the night he confessed, they haven't kissed at all. In fact, they barely even held hands, because he always assumed that Nightmare wasn't comfortable with being open about his feelings yet. What if he never wanted to hold hands with him? He didn't want to be his lover. He was nothing but a waste of time. The whole reason this relationship existed was only to spare his feelings. He was too kind. It'll all fall apart soon. None of this will matter anymore.

    He didn't even notice that Nightmare and himself had stopped walking since this toxic thought process began. The God of Negativity turned to him, scanning his worried thoughts as these horrible, crushing feelings clawed away at him. Tears gathered at the corners of his eye sockets, but he barely noticed. Nightmare frowned. Had he done something to upset him? He didn't mean it! He just thought this was how every good, normal couple started. Slow and steady, until they got more accustomed to each other.

    But they weren't a normal couple, were they? A normal couple can't read their partner's feelings. A normal couple doesn't live together 30 years before officially becoming lovers.

    We're already accustomed to each other, he realized. I've been approaching this entire situation wrong. EL would be very helpful right now. He had to do something to calm his partner's nerves. But what could he do?

    The closed his sockets briefly, and slowly and carefully interlocked his phalanges with Cross'.

    Cross' orbits shrunk at the sudden contact. His skull snapped down to their hands, then up to Nightmare's worried expression. He remembered his lover's horrifyingly heightened empathy, and sighed lightly as his purple-stained tears silently slipped down his face. "Don't think that way, Cross. You're scaring me." "I-I'm sorry..." He responded. He had trouble speaking the words that he wanted to say. Good thing the other already knows what he's thinking. "With love always comes doubt. Your mind is just getting used to being a lover instead of a friend. I know I am." Nightmare explained. "Dream's always been more emotional than me in every single way, so I'm sorry I haven't been caring for you as much as I should. I'm still getting used to this whole 'true love' thing, but I can assure you, I do love you. I never want to be with anyone else except you. So don't doubt yourself, and for the love of god Cross, don't doubt me!" He raised his voice as it cracked  at the last part, wrapping himself in a hug as darker tears of his own poured out like a waterfall. "I don't want you to doubt me..." he sobbed into Cross' jacket.

    They both cried in each other's embrace for a while, letting their pent-up emotions out in a flurry of past sadness, confusion and anger. Nightmare sighed and pulled away, looking at the star dust under their feet. "Sorry, I sort of lost my composure there." Cross stared at their still interlocked hands, squeezing the other's palm slightly. "You don't need composure around me." He could've sworn he saw the other's straight, serious face twist into a soft smile for a second before looking away and huffing. "Okay, okay. Let's just continue waking. I don't feel like heading home just yet." "We have the whole rest of the day." He replied, grinning as he started pulling him along the edge of the cliff, making sure they didn't steer too close. Then he whispered under his breath, a strange uplifting feeling filling his soul with joy, "Me neither."

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    Conversation finally flowed between them. They had both lifted a weight they didn't even realize was there off their chests. They finally felt what they were hoping for. It felt normal between them again, replacing the tension they both dreaded, but didn't know how to fix. They both felt...happy. At long last. There was no doubt to be seen.

    They sat down on an old yet in good shape bench on the side of a lonely cottage, wiping off the wandering star dust that landed on the outdoor seat. Eventually, they fell silent. A peaceful silence this time. Neither of them were really that talkative. "I wonder if someone lives in here?" Nightmare stated, lightly tapping the wall of the house behind them. As if on cue, he heard a bunch of people burst into loud conversation behind the wall. They heard them make their way outside, so they stood up and ran into the surrounding forest, snickering as they sprinted down and into the grey-violet forest at the thought of almost getting caught. Perhaps it was time to go somewhere else.

    Nightmare opened a portal to a very familiar place. Every building was wrecked. Plants grew around and on top of the wreckage. There was a steep hill with a tree stump on the very top. Upon closer inspection, there was a stone slab with unreadable writing on it, and a bouquet of yellow and white flowers resting on top. They looked like they were picked not too long ago. Looks like Dream put this here, Nightmare thought as he picked up the flowers. He stared at the stump that once was a bright yew-tree that was their home and shelter. He wished it was still here sometimes. Maybe there's a way to bring it back..?

    Nightmare's sockets widened as he realized he was pretty sure there was a way in one of his old books, but he needed Dream to do it, and he didn't want to bail on Cross. I'll do it later.

    They continued up to the forest that marked the end of what their Creator made of their world. Everyone in the Multiverse knew better than to go inside copy-and-pasted woods. It was easy to get lost in there. However, there was one tree in the middle of this forest that towered over all the others by a landslide. It was fabled to be here even before his mother, the old Guardian.

    Cross followed Nightmare's gaze to the large tree. He summoned a Gaster Blaster beneath them, and held on tight to his lover as they soared toward it. They landed on a large branch in around the middle of the tree. "You like it here?" Nightmare smiled, and nodded. "Yeah..." he said, leaning into Cross' side. Silence.  "Cross?" "Yeah?" A pause. "I love you, Cross." He stiffened at the words, and smiled brightly. They haven't really said that sappy stuff all that much. He hugged Nightmare with one of his arms. "I...I love you too, Nightmare."