no more lies // ricci rivero

fifty-seven

Nagising ako na walang maalala kung anong nangyari kagabi, I drank wine last night until I was drunk enough to sleep, oo namimiss ko siya pero hindi naman dahil namimiss ko siya gusto ko siya bumalik sa buhay ko.

Our relationship was a mess, nung nasa kontrata pa lang relasyon namin magulo na pati nung sinubukan ulit namin.

"Tangina!" bulong ko sa sarili ko at sinabunutan ang sarili ko.

It's at that moment when it hit me how much I still love him, how much I am willing to go through hell just to be with him again but we just can't do that anymore, hindi na kami bata para maging on and off. Maybe we both need time to work on ourselves.

I looked at my nightstand and there I saw a picture of me and him, our first date, sa timezone pa galing yung picture.

Bumangon na ako at dumiretso sa kitchen, at doon ko siya nakita na nagluluto ng almusal.

"Why are you up so early?" I asked him.

"Jetlag, saka baka di ka nanaman kumain ng almusal kapag hindi pa ko nagluto," He said.

"Weh?"

"You always say that whenever I ask you, puro ka malapit na mag lunch hintayin ko na lang," He said mocking me, inirapan ko naman siya.

"Diet nga kasi ako, I need to look good all the time," I reasoned out.

He sighed, "You already look good."

Pumunta ako sa cabinet para kumuha ng tasa para saaming dalawa.

"I look good yeah, hopefully I am good enough." I said and made coffee.

Damn, why the fuck did I say that?

Pagkatapos ko gumawa ng kape tinulungan ko siya dalin yung pagkain sa island countertop, marami kasing gamit yung dining table kaya di kami makakain don.

"Bacon, eggs, and garlic rice, hmm damn, Rivero, you're trying to make me fat," I said and grabbed the plate of rice.

"Tignan mo nga 'yang sarili mo napaka payat mo na," He commented.

I rolled my eyes and drank water. "Hello? I gained three pounds?"

"Ewan ko sa'yo kumain ka na lang."

"How are they pala?" I asked just to break the silence.

"Okay naman, every once in a while nagkikita-kita kami but it's no longer the same without you," He answered.

Patapos na yung kontrata ko, I have the option to stay or to leave, I want to stay but it's too lonely here.

"Hmm, ganon ba, it's great you guys still hangout together,"

"Hindi pa ba tapos kontrata mo?" Tanong niya.

I sighed and smiled, "Patapos na, they gave me an option to stay or to just leave. If I leave I can still—"

"Just go back to manila please," He cut me off. I stared at him for a moment.

"Ewan, bahala na,"

"It's your decision anyway, I'm just saying that it's better if you go back to Manila, it's not the same without you. Tsaka, tignan mo sarili mo, Raffy, napapabayaan mo na sarili mo," He reasoned out.

He's right, I have to go back to Manila, mas masaya ako don.

I smiled at him. "Kumain ka na muna, mamaya na natin 'to pag-usapan,"

We continued to eat, pagkatapos non, nag-volunteer ako na ako na ang maghuhugas pero mapilit siya at siya na lang daw kaya hinayaan ko na lang siya.