Ch. 1 She doesn't even remember...

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Emily's POV

Ugh! She was literally right in my grasp just now. I could've kissed her right there and then. I could've seen if she would have enjoyed it. I know that she has her own beliefs and comfort, but I would have at least gotten to see what she thought of me, friends or more than friends. Instead I just walked off after explaining myself. Why did I do that? Sigh. I didn't know my breath reeked either, that's really embarrassing, and Carrie told me straight to my face.

I decided to sniff myself to see if I are least smelled good, and I instantly realized I smelled like the equivalent of a boy's locker room. Even if I had attempted to kiss her, she probably wouldn't have enjoyed it considering I had the aroma of a garbage truck at that point.

I really am disgusting.

So look I know this seems a bit contradictory, that I'm here criticizing myself and overthinking what I did when I literally told her yesterday not to, but I can't help it! I suppose it's also why we're best friends. We're so identical, but in different ways. Like the Ying and Yang of Chicago. I like Carrie too much to not overthink this. I wanted to kiss her but I could see all the fear in her eyes. She was obviously afraid of me, but maybe because I'm six feet tall and I manhandled her... hahahaha...

In turn she got overly stressed out and decided to get drunk. She knows her alcohol tolerance is low, but I guess that wasn't on her mind at the time. I was going to apologize in the morning, but about half an hour later she rose from her bed, so I was going to tell her.

"Carrie, I'm so sorry for-" She cut me off mid-sentence. If there's one thing I hate people doing, it's cuttng me off when I'm speaking.

"Emily, you look so beautiful in this lighting...  Please-", she said in a tone that sounded so dissimilar to her, that I had to check to see it was Carrie talking to me, and not someone from outside. What is she doing? I knew she was not like this.

"Carrie, you're drunk and you're also straight. You don't want me" I replied stubbornly while frowning. I know I want her, but I can't do this, she's barely conscious right now and she looks completely wasted.

"Emily, stop acting like you know me!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She toppled over a bit when she did, releasing a large burp when she regained her balance. She was acting like how I would, and it even grossed me out spectating it through another individual.

This is why me and Nathan always decided that Carrie wasn't allowed to get drunk, of at least not drink so much. She drank almost all of my large expensive tequila, leaving only about one-quarter of the bottle left, way more than she initially had, and now she can't even control herself.

"Okay, if you won't give me what I want, I'll take it!", she said with a devious smile. I gulped at her response. I've never seen Carrie act like this before.

She held me tight and tossed me on the bed. My eyes widened. She was staring directly into my face and she wouldn't let go. I could smell the strong odor of tequila on her breath. She's really scaring me right now. I knew I was stronger, but I wanted to see what she was going to do.

She gave me a kiss on the lips and I felt a little happy on the inside. I grasped her and threw her at the bottom. Her eyes widened in astonishment but she allowed me to do what I wanted to. As I grabbed her tighter into a hug, she seemed to enjoy it more. I wasn't going to do anything crazy because I knew it wasn't right, I was just comforting her till she came back to proper consciousness. It's fairly rare to hear her swear, and speak a little bit of Korean, I'm assuming... so I knew she was drunk. However, this wasn't right to do. I was happy but I wasn't going to enjoy something with someone who doesn't truly love me. I got up from her bed and told her to go to sleep and she looked at me in confusion.

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