a hundred different words

grown

Growing up with the lifestyle I had, I pretty much already had expectations on me about how I should be like.
How I sit, how I walk, how I talk
It was always "that's not lady like" and "that's not right"
For a while, it was about manners, and common decency.
Eventually, it became about my thoughts, and how I view the world (or was expected to).
Overtime, after having countless of mistakes and memories, the ones that follow you for a lifetime,
I realized I didn't need anyone's permission to think for myself, I just needed to think.
To believe, to see the world in my own glasses rather than being forced to see someone else's blindly.
Now, it felt like being forced to wear shoes that were too small,
Not because I had finally grown out of them, but that they were never my size anyway.