high school sweethearts | cranksepticeye

7 - nightmare

I was in a small room looking at two people sat on a bed. i soon recognised the room to be my own bedroom from when i was a child, and that one of the people i was observing was a younger version of myself. it was so weird to see myself like that, i'd changed so much but at the same time i looked the exact same. i must have been about 15 or 16. i looked to the person sat beside my younger self, but i couldn't tell who it was. their face was disfigured and obscured by an unmoving fog.

"when are you going to tell her?" young sean asked to the person next to him.

"soon. i promise. it's just scary. what if she's not okay with it?" i couldn't recognise the voice either for it constantly morphed and changed into different pitches and tones. i watched as i slung an arm around this unidentifiable person.

"she will be, don't worry. your mother seems lovely."

"okay...well what about everybody else? like my dad? and my grandma?" i was curious as to what they were discussing, but they weren't dropping any hints as to what it was.

"they'll be fine with it too. and even if they're not, at least you still have me to support you." i couldn't even tell the gender of this person. i had no idea who they were, what they were talking about or what was going on. i stepped a little closer to see if that would resolve the problem, but it didn't make a difference.

"yeah, there is that...thank you." i saw the two figures lean into each other and share what looked like a kiss.

"i love you sean." the figure whispered. i heard myself giggle.

"i love you too ERROR." i couldn't hear the rest of what my younger self had to say because a robotic voice interrupted him repeating the word 'ERROR'. from that moment every single time i saw myself open my mouth to speak, all i heard was that same robotic voice. and that voice just grew louder and more aggressive every time it repeated its message.

ERROR. ERROR. ERROR.

i was growing scared and uncomfortable. whatever hell i was in, i wanted to escape it. i ran to the door behind me and pushed down the door handle, but the door wouldn't open. there was no lock on the door, but it still wouldn't open. i looked back behind me to see the two people, but they were gone, along with my entire bedroom. i looked back at the door which had also dissapeared. i was now trapped in a black void that had no end.

in the distance i could hear a soft distorted voice speaking to me, but i couldn't understand what they were saying. i saw nobody else, i was alone. as time passed the voice became clearer and clearer, until i could eventually make out what they were saying:

it's just difficult right now. i'm sorry. this is for the best.

the phrase kept repeating and repeating over and over again. i didn't know what it meant or who was saying it to me. i felt scared, alone, confused. when would this end? i heard another, familiar voice speak to me, calling my name.

sean...

sean..

"sean!" i jolted upright and sat up in my bed, breathing heavily. out of the corner of my eye i saw a small warm light creep around the room and felt a pair of hands on my shoulders. i jumped at the sudden contact and spun my head around. my nerves managed to calm down when i realised it was just eveline.

"sean? are you okay?" i nodded slowly, thinking about the whack ass dream i'd just had.

"you were breathing really heavily...and then you started shaking and badly. i thought you were having a fucking seizure or something!" i smiled at my girlfriend and put a reassuring hand on her arm.

"i'm fine...just a bad dream." she smiled back at me and nodded. i looked over at the alarm clock. it was 7:13am. i'd woken up earlier than i would have liked, but i had to get up in a couple of hours anyway.

"you go back to bed if you want. i'm gonna start getting ready." i swung my legs out of the bed and stood up, letting out a yawn and slowly stretching my arms.

"ready for what? church?" i looked at her and raised an eyebrow before going to the drawers and pulling out some grey sweatpants and a white baggy shirt. i wasn't going to be wearing these when i went out, but they were just to go about the house in as i got ready.

"no. i'm meeting up with some old friends." much to my disliking, mark actually went through the effort of arranging to meet up with me and today was the day. bob and wade would also be there, and he said we'd possibly bump into tyler whilst we were out since he would be spending the day with his girlfriend. i saw eveline make the same face she did when i asked her if she remembered anybody called ethan. what was with her?

"who exactly?" she asked with caution.

"you remember mark, bob and wade? we hung out in high school." she didn't seem very happy when i broke the news to her.

"is anybody else going?"

"mark said we might bump into tyler but he doubts it."

"and you decided to not tell me about this beforehand because?"

"it slipped my mind. sorry." i put on the shirt and sweatpants before walking back over to eveline and planting a kiss on her cheek.

"i don't have to leave until about 12 so i'll make you breakfast when you wake back up." i went to walk away but she grabbed my wrist and kept a tight grip on it.

"i don't think you should go today." i gave her a confused look.

"what?"

"let me rephrase that; i don't want you to go today."

"why not?" she looked to the side and hesitated for a little before finally looking back at me and answering my question.

"what if you go and it turns out you don't get along like you used to? that'd suck." she was right and i was already worried about that happening.

"you have a point. but what if we go and we get along really well?"

"you won't, you just won't, okay?!" she yelled. i didn't really want to go before, but now that she was yelling at me for apparently no reason, i wanted nothing more than to meet up with my old friends.

"why are you shouting at me?"

"because i don't want you to fucking go! and you can't go!" i looked down at my wrist that she was still holding onto.

"can you let go of me please?" i asked nicely, not wanting to yell back. she didn't reply and just stared at me with anger in her eyes instead.

"babe. let go of me." again, she didn't reply. now i was getting annoyed.

"for fucks sake eveline, let go!" i yanked my arm away causing eveline to fall off the bed and hit the floor with a loud bang. i looked down at her and instantly felt terrible. i knelt down next to her, grabbing her and helping her back up.

"i'm sorry babe, i didn't mean to do that. i'm so sorry, are you hurt?" she stayed quiet as i helped her back up and back onto the bed. when i sat down next to her i put my hand on her thigh, growing more and more worried by the second.

"eveline?" suddenly she upreared her head and glared at me before i felt a sharp pain on my left cheek. she dropped her hand slowly after smacking me across the face with it. i felt tears fill my eyes, but i was trying my hardest to contain them. if i did cry she'd probably tell me to man up or grow a pair. this had happened a couple of times in the past, so this wasn't a new experience.

"i think i'm gonna leave a few hours early." i whispered before standing up and rushing out of the room, feeling the stare of my girlfriend burning into my back.