high school sweethearts | cranksepticeye

21 - the end

i was sat on the sofa with my notebook in hand reading through the words on the pages. this notebook was where i wrote down all of my ideas for videos and what games people wanted me to play. after reading through the list several times i eventually circled two free indie horror games that had been requested a couple of times. i closed the book and put the pen down on the coffee table. i stood up and made my way towards the stairs but stopped in my tracks when i saw eveline making her way down them.

when she saw me she smiled weakly and then entered the living room. for the past few months, she'd been acting differently around me. she didn't argue with me anymore and she always seemed tired. i asked her about it a couple of times but she said it was nothing. a few times i'd heard her crying in our room alone, but she never explained to me why. she just always denied it, so i stopped asking.

"you okay babe?" i asked. she nodded before turning around to face me again.

"are you busy?" she asked.

"i'm just about to go get some stuff ready for a video. why?" she looked around the room and sat down on the sofa slowly.

"i wanted to speak to you..."

"oh...okay." she patted the empty seat next to her on the sofa so i made my way over and sat down beside her.

"is everything alright?" i asked. she looked down at the floor and when she looked back up her eyes were glossed over. that answered my question.

"you know that...these past few years, you have made me really happy, right?" i nodded and smiled. it was nice to hear her say that since sometimes i doubted it.

"i have been really grateful for all the things that you've done for me and for the time we've spent together...but for the past few months...you haven't been making me happy like you used to." i stared at her without breaking eye contact once in shock. why wasn't i making her happy? i'd been treating her well, what was i doing wrong?

"i haven't?" she shook her head.

"what have i been doing wrong? whatever it is, i can fix it." she shook her head again.

"no...this can't be fixed." i reached out for her hand but she noticed and snatched it away.

"yes, it can. i can change for you, i promise-"

"there's somebody else." i stared at her in disbelief. somebody else? i didn't speak once.

"my friend...we've been spending a lot of time together lately. i've been talking to him about you and our relationship and he...he has feelings for me. and i feel the same way. i know he'll treat me better." i stood up and began to pace the room.

"treat you better?" she didn't respond.

"all i have ever treated you with is kindness and care! all i've ever done is love you and you're leaving me for somebody else?!" surprisingly, she didn't shout back like i thought she would.

"i understand that you're mad. i knew you would be." i sat down on the armchair. i didn't want to be near her.

"why? why are you doing this?!" she started to cry profusely.

"i know what you did seán. on the night of our anniversary, when we had that argument and you didn't come back home for hours. i know. i saw the hickeys. i can't stay with a cheater." in all honesty, i'd kind of forgotten about that night. i really was very good at forgetting key events of my life.

"okay...that's true. you're right. i'm sorry. i'm a shitty person for that, i really am, but let me just explain." she stared at me, waiting for me to continue.

"i was drunk. they were drunk, very drunk. they made a move on me. i didn't start it. it was them. i told them that i had a girlfriend and we didn't even do much. i pushed them off me and left before they could take it any further, okay, i got so mad at them and i haven't spoken to them since!"

"why didn't you tell me that when it happened? maybe then i would have forgiven you. maybe then we wouldn't be at this point now." i didn't reply, but i knew i didn't tell her because i was scared and i didn't want to go through what i did with felix when this happened with him. i'm such a scumbag.

"who was it?" she asked. oh fuck. i couldn't tell her. i just couldn't. if she wasn't mad at me already she definitely would be if i confessed.

"i don't know." i answered.

"you're lying to me. i know when you're lying. who was it?"

"i told you, i don't know!"

"yes you do! who was it?!" for the first time that night she raised her voice at me, demanding an answer. i sighed, knowing i couldn't lie my ass off anymore.

"ethan..." she looked down at the ground, not saying another word. she then rummaged through her trouser pockets before pulling out her house keys and placing them on the coffee table. i watched as she stood up and grabbed her coat and shoes.

"you're...you're leaving?" she turned around and nodded.

"obviously. how can i stay any longer? when i said there's somebody else, i wasn't lying. i'm sorry seán." she grasped the door handle and the door swung wide open. i sprung up out of my seat and walked over to her.

"eveline, wai-" she slammed the door shut in my face. that was it then. the end to another relationship. i sat down on the armchair again, letting the tears that i held back earlier be free. she was gone. that was the end of me and eveline.

and it was all my fault.