BestFriends {book 1}

34.

I was on the phone with my mother finally explaining everything to her.

"So all of this is because of the stress that you've been under?" She asked me.

"Yeah, and I really don't know what I want to do anymore. I love Keenan but I don't wanna put the blame on him, it was multiple things that I was going through."

My friends keep telling me that this was really all of Keenan's fault but I disagree and I'm not blinded by love either.

Keenan's actions did play a big part of me becoming stressed out , but it was also school some days and then thanksgiving happened.

I feel like that's when my heart couldn't take it the most, the love my life literally pulled my heart out of my chest.

"I don't believe it was all Keenan either and your friends are wrong for trying to put all of the blame on him... did anyone care to call out what Korey did?" She asked.

"I think everyone's try to avoid bringing  that up too be honest, and it's like when I saw him ma .. all those emotions from that day came back, he tried talking to me but I wouldn't listen to him. I didn't wanna be near him, I didn't wanna hear anything he had to say."

"I think you should talk to Korey"

"For what?"

"Just listen to him, Tiara you have a problem with holding onto things which I believe is why your heart can't take it anymore. When Alexis came all you did was talk about the things she did in high school and yes I know high school wasn't that long ago but what about just letting that shït go. You're with Keenan now and all the things he did fall semester still bother you. This is why you're so hurt. Talk things out with Korey, I'm not saying you have to become buddy buddy with him but I think you should try to forgive him.. let those things go and move on"

My mother isn't even here at college with me and she can still read me like a book. I will admit that I do have a holding on problem, it's not that easy for me to just let things go because it's like why did it even happen? What did I do to deserve it?

"You may be right" I sighed "no.. I am right" she spoke.

"Have you been taking the medicine?" She asked me "only when I feel myself about to panic."

"Good, I really don't want you getting addicted to those, does Keenan still take his medicine from the accident?" She asked me.

"I um.. I actually don't know, I mean I don't see why he would, he's fine" I mean I believe he is fine.

"You need to also go speak with him and it doesn't need to turn into an argument, that's not what communicating is" she said.

I swear my mother is always right. "Get things with Korey straight first and then go talk to Keenan .. remember what I said, I love you baby you got this"

"I love you to ma" I said and then we hung up.

Lani wasn't in the room so I can talk to Korey without anyone being here.

I took a few deep breaths preparing myself for this conversation.

I clicked on his name and the phone started dialing. He picked up right away.

"Hey Ti?" He answered "did you mean to call me?" He asked.

"Yeah I did" my voice was shaky "what's up is everything good?" He asked. "Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you really quickly ... are you alone?" I asked him.

I heard him move around a bit in the background "I am now, what's going on?"

"Well I had a conversation with my mom and she was just telling me that in order for me to be okay again, I have to move on from certain situations and just let it go, so I'm calling you to allow you to finally speak your peace , I'll speak mine and that'll be it between us" I explained to him.