Remember Me

5. Digging Myself Into The Darkest Pits Of Hell

My alarm brought me back to the world of reality in a second.

Mom's making pancakes today. Waking up to the smell of mom's pancake is something that I would love to carry with me for the rest of my life. I feel so calm and happy and I'm all ready to have the day seized. I could now understand how much pressure my body felt. But it really does feel nice to wake up in my bed and cherish the moment. Right now, isn't that the only thing that matters? Whatever we feel, pain, happiness, sorrow, it matters now and just now. So why do we humans worry so much about the future. Why are we not present in the present. I personally wouldn't want to worry about something that might or might not happen in my life just because it might happen. The whole universe though seem colorful from the outside is pale in the inside in ways like this.

I lost count of time till I somehow found a way out of the doors of my thoughts. this is something about me. I'm a very thoughtful person and I observe so much. As a matter of fact, too much is the perfect usage. But I somehow like it. Even though we all are people living a social life, at the end of the day we end up with ourselves till we hit the grave so enjoying our own company is something everyone should know but lacks to.

After realising that I should get my breakfast ASAP. I brush my teeth and get downstairs and I see that mom and dad are having breakfast with Steve. What a view. But somehow this was not a disappointment for me. I expected this.

As soon as mom saw me she said

"Ella, you're up? come join us for breakfast. Steve came here early with some groceries since we didn't have any. Such a sweet boy."

Steve shoved a oh-I'm-so-charming smile at me.

I gave him a you-suck-no-matter-what smile back.

I pulled the chair and sat beside dad who seemed to read newspaper while having breakfast. An old habit he has carried with him since I can remember. I dig through my breakfast pancakes and orange juice. After all the work I did yesterday, this is really a treat. After having eaten the whole plate of food I decide to head upstairs and read some Austen. As I hit the stairs, Steve calls me from behind.

"Hey Ella, Eh do you wanna go out or something sometime?"

IS HE ASKING ME OUT???! Well Mr. Goody Goody I'm so not interested in you.

"Oh don't get me wrong Steve. You are lovely and all but you are not exactly my type." I hope that hit him hard and he would always moan because I refused him but all my expectations were dipped into the pool of shame as he started laughing so hard.

What's there to laugh so hard? Did some joke happened here? Oh wait. He is certainly trying to hide the disappointment. Well how sad.

"Hey Ella Jones. I am not asking you out. I was offering you some company around the place. since you are new and all I thought you would want some help figuring the place out. You know, don't want you to get lost and all. But dude wasn't that hilarious?"

I blush the darkest shade of red with embarrassment. Shit. I didn't do that. that is so so embarrassing. I can really feel something crawling up my spine and yep it is shame. The frantic need to get out of this house right now has clawed its way into my mind. but the feeble amount of dignity lying deep inside my body helped me to stand on my feet without collapsing into a big mess. well a bigger mess since I'm already one from the cringeworthy situation I got myself into.

I felt so relieved as if once again cold air covered my dead lungs when mom called me from the kitchen asking me to help her. I shot a so-sorry-I'm-too-shy-to-be-around-you-right-now look at him. Steve smirks at me and now I want to rip his heart out.