Cruel Summer

LIX.

Love,

Do you remember the first time that I saw you? You were sitting on the bench outside my shabby apartment with the broken heel of your shoe. I quietly watched you as you tried to break the other one so you could still use your shoes. And as you turned your broken shoes into flats, I could not help but admire you. Your beauty, your smile, your charm, your wit... you made me fell in just a snap of a finger.

We were both a nobody back then. You were just starting your flight attendant career while you strive to make the ends meet for your family and trying to prove yourself that you could still be more. You never stopped dreaming. Kahit mahirap, kahit pagod na pagod ka na. I remember how you'll cry in secret, inside my small bathroom when you thought that I'm already asleep.

But you're wrong. I've always seen and heard the things that you try to keep. Your hardships, your struggles. And oh god, I wanted to give you the world back then. I wanted to take away your sorrows. I wanted to give you everything, but I didn't want it to come from my family. I wanted it to come from me and my hardwork.

Since then, I promised that I will strive to give you the best life that you deserve. And you were nothing but patient. You supported me all the way, even though sometimes, you were the one who had to pay for our dates, for my bills. You did so selflessly, kahit alam kong mas kailangan mo. You loved me when you thought that I was a nobody. You loved me when I had nothing to give but my heart.

You were with me through my lowest of lows and my highest of highs. And even when I am finally able to give you everything, you never asked for much. You remained patient with me and my never-ending schedules, my absence... until you've had enough and decided to go astray.

Honestly, I am hurt. I am hurt that there is someone else. I even asked myself if I am not giving you enough. May kulang pa ba? But then, I've realized... you never asked for those things, for all those extravagant presents. You just wanted my presence, yet I failed to give you that. I neglected you in my success. More so, during the times when you needed me the most.

I am sorry, love. I apologize that it's too late when I realized this. Na may mali rin ako, na mas dumami ang pagkukulang ko mula no'ng inisip ko na kaya ko nang ibigay ang lahat sa'yo.

So now, let me keep my promise to you. I will give you everything. And if that is Ares to you, then I will let go because I want nothing more but for you to be happy.

Trust that I will be okay soon. I've long accepted the fact that you are meant to fly higher. I've always kept in my heart what you told me that I will always be your wings. And I badly wanted to be yours still, but I know it's not me that is in your heart—not anymore.

I love you, Aphrodite. Be free.

Always,
Sid