Her Vocation

34. Reunion

"Do you need my help with anything, Haadi?" I asked, stepping into the kitchen, where Haadi was busy preparing feast for her brother-in-law and his family, who were visiting for winter break.

"No, Aasi. You're already handling Zimal. That's 50 times tougher than preparing a feast for the whole village—" She remarked with a light chuckle, directing her gaze to the 7 month old Zimal, screaming playfully in my arms. With a small smile, I left to play with Zimal.

I had just taken a few weeks off from my cardio surgery training program. After leaving the university hostel, I had rented an apartment near my Hospital and was living there for the past few years. However, before getting around to doing the important thing that I had been running away from for the last 5 years, I decided to pay Haadi a visit. Who knew except Allah, if I would ever get a chance to see her again, afterwards.

Everyday, I would wake up and get scared thinking about the what ifs? What would I do, if I died before making my amends? I would think and before I could do anything about it, the day would end and I would be greeted by a new morning alongside the same guilt.

Yet, during the past month, I knew I was going to do it. I didn't know how—but I just knew that it was time to meet them.

My whole life, I've had been running; from people to situations, anything that I couldn't seem to find a way to work with, I would run away at the first chance. Instead of trying to make things work, I would always look for the easy way out. When now, I had come to realise that running away never solved any of my problems. It just gave it more time to fester and get worse, until the damage was far too sabotaged to rectify.

But, no matter what the end result might bring me to, I've had finally found the courage to face my problems. It was time to return and confront the root of all my insecurities and troubles.

That was solely why, I had finally decided to take a leave from work. I was well aware of the high probability, that I might not live to return here, after my meeting with them. But despite all my fears and apprehensions, I had chosen to desperately clung to that tiny ray of hope, in hopes that maybe—just maybe, I might still get a chance at happiness.

Maybe—InshaAllah.

"Oh! They are here, I think—" I called out to Haadi after hearing the car doors slamming.

I didn't know much about Haadi's in laws. Except, when she met me all those years ago; she was visiting them. I had asked Haadi, if they knew about me, but she dismissed it; saying, it never came up and there was no reason for her to discuss about my life with a third person.

I went back in to check on Zimal, who had started crying again. Cradling her in my arms, I attempted in vain, to soothe her cries and when nothing worked I brought her out to where Haadi was standing, greeting the guests.

"She must be hungry—" Haadi said and excused herself. I stood there, greeting them alongside Ahmed and Salman bhai. But just when we were about to go in, I heard something that shook my heart to the very core.

"Naveed—! Over here!" Ammar bhai called out, looking behind him towards the gate and for a moment I couldn't blink, couldn't breathe—just kept watching Ammar bhai unblinking and petrified in my place.

In that moment, I was unable to form any thoughts—unable to take in a breath, yet, somehow my gaze had turned towards him.

A sharp gasp escaped my mouth and I flinched back with a jerk.

He didn't look up until a moment passed and when he did, I felt all the blood draining from my face. I didn't know how or when did I become aware of the shudders running through me. But it wasn't before I heard Salman bhai's concerned inquiry about why I was crying.