The Melancholy of Wonderland

What is love?

A few days later, Raven and Anya were on the road to the City of Aces. Although Wonderland's stabilizing geography would eventually suffocate it, it worked in their favor as now Anya and Raven had a direct path to the capitol. They were equipped with special gadgets from the Mad Hatter and the March Hare and had new clothing too. Their garments were lightweight but would protect them from the natural elements.

"Anya." The said girl turned around. "Why did you not go back?"

"What're you talking about?"

"Why did you not go back to your homeworld? That's what you wanted, correct? I do not understand."

"People's motives can change over time, Raven. I wasn't kidding when I said that I didn't want to forget. I like Wonderland. Also, I could tell."

"Tell what?"

"Tell that Taylor loves Wonderland with all her heart. So much that she's willing to do everything it takes to save it, even if the end result is death. She's not willing to sit around and watch Wonderland die. If she's going out, then she's going out in flames."

"I see. What does that word mean? 'Love'?"

"..."

This was going to be harder to explain than freedom. Love was even more obscure than freedom, after all. Anya couldn't say that she had "loved" anything or anyone. She had closed herself off too much to ever "love" anything. So to explain it to someone who had never heard the word or even knew what it felt like... Anya was the wrong person to ask.

Instead, she wrapped her arms around Raven and pulled him close. Their faces were almost touching and she swore she saw flickers of red dancing within Raven's cheeks.

"What is this gesture called?"

"It's a hug. It's a form of affection," she mumbled. "We do this to people we like or are friends with."

Slowly, Raven lifted his arms and wrapped them around Anya's torso. Anya pressed her forehead against Raven's, relishing in the slightly warm, smooth skin that greeted her.

"It's hard to explain what love is. Families love each other; that's a given. Do you think Wren cares for you?"

"Of course. She's my mother. What are you insisting?" Raven stared hard at Anya.

"And Cecilia. What do you think she feels towards Emilio and Christian?"

"I'm sure she wishes to see them grow up to be healthy and strong."

"That's what we'd call motherly love. That's one example. Although she's unable to show it, I'm sure your mother loves you very much."

"What about you?"

"I'm pretty sure my parents have given up on me," Anya sighed. "Maybe when I was little and innocent but now... I'm not so sure," she admitted. Tears were building in her eyes.

Yeah, ever since she gave up on life... She lost the right to ever be loved by anyone, even herself. Forget not having hope or a future. What she really craved was the love of another. Someone to reassure her that not all was lost, that she still had another chance.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?" The tears that had welled up in her eyes were now freely falling. "I-I—sorry. This isn't like me." Anya moved away from Raven, rubbing away the tears only for them to continue falling. "Aw, crap."

"You have done this before... Is this an action that is associated with 'love'?"

"No, it's called crying. You usually do it unconsciously when you're in pain or when you're sad."

"You do not appear hurt, and I'm afraid I don't know the meaning of 'sad'. Were you 'sad' when you did this before?"

"There are multiple kinds of pain, Raven. Not all of them are physical. It hurts in here." Anya places a hand over her heart. "Nobody loves me. I'm all alone."

"Your heart is in pain? ...I see." Raven came closer to her. "Long ago, it was said that the heart was where we felt our strongest emotions. I read that when I was young, in a forbidden text. I didn't understand that back then, but I think I do now. Your emotions have dulled from constant pain and lack of 'love'. They are coming back now, and you are not used to it. That's why it hurts."

"And who in this godforsaken place would ever love someone like me?" Anya asked bitterly.

"I do not know. Perhaps the Mad Hatter and the March Hare?"

"Maybe. Thanks for talking it out with me, Raven. I feel better now."

"Any time, Anya."