Sexy Drug (Sequel to Vampires Will Never Hurt You)

5

Vic POV: 

After a while, my dizziness subsided. Kellin had already left to me to do God knows what. I just hope that he hadn't starting doing anything stupid again. I know that he was going through a lot of shit but heroin? Did he have to turn to drugs to make it better? 

I walked downstairs and saw Kellin sitting with his guitar, which I played more than him, and a pencil in his hand. He was writing something on a page, twiddling the pencil in his fingers. He sat back and began strumming the guitar, then he sang a small verse. 

"How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, cuz I could sing you a song. But I don't think words could express your beauty. It's singing to me, " He sang. God, this man. 

I took a quiet step forward, but Kellin had heard me. "Vic? " He asked, startled. 

"No, no. Don't let me bother you. Just carry on, " I said, not wanting to have interrupted him. I liked hearing him sing, but it wasn't the same when he knew that someone was listening. He didn't quite get lost in a song the same way. 

"But then you'll be listening. I'm not finished yet. " Kellin rested the guitar down next to him. "Did you want to hear something else? " 

I tried to hide my surprise. "Does the Kellin Quinn want to play me an acoustic set?" I asked. 

"Now, don't get too full of yourself. I'm serious. " 

"Of course I wanna hear you play! " I said, sitting down right next to him. "Play me anything you'd like. "

Kellin picked up the guitar again, strumming for a moment as he thought, then he started strumming in a more rhythmic pattern. "This is an old song, from a band long forgotten. It's called Gold. " 

Of course I knew that this was one of his band's songs. I'd listened to all of them after all. 

"All we want is, what we want is, all we want is gold, " He sang, more gently than usual. But he closed his eyes, forgetting where he was, and his face soften, as though he was imaginary singing like he used to. "Sunsets on Long Islands. Roll the windows down in the van. Lost my map on the Jersey Turnpike, but it's okay, we ain't ever looking back. " He smiled slightly, still not opening his eyes. His voice had grown in strength and passion, as though he was singing for a million people. It was so different than every other time that I'd caught him singing. He wasn't scared, or embarrassed. His voice rose to the chorus. "We made our mistakes, it's not to late. We had to learn the hard way. Bridges will burn, now it's our turn. We had to learn the hard way." 

Throughout the whole song, it felt like I was looking at, and listening to an entirely different Kellin. I liked this side of him. He wasn't sad. You almost completely forgot that he was going through so much. That he was a vampire addicted to heroin, self-harm, and my blood. It all kind of dissolved away into nothing. 

In fact, Kellin forgot about where he really was so much that he even started dancing a little bit, as though he were on stage. And after the song, he said, "Thank you. " Then he opened his eyes, and damn near fell over. "Dear God, why didn't you tell me that I stood up! " He said, flustered. 

I clapped, not out of pity, but out of amazement. "That was so amazing, Kells. I knew you had it in you. It was beautiful. " 

He sat back down. "Yeah, well. It's nothing special, " He mumbled. 

I ignored his insult to himself. "What's next? " 

Kellin shook his head, silent tears running down his face now. "I don't wanna sing anymore, " He put the guitar down, and ran up to his room. 

I followed him soon after. He was sitting on the edge of his bed with his knees to his chest. I sat down next to him gently. "What happened? " I asked, rubbing his arm. 

"I went back. I tried to sing as well as I could for you, but I got caught up. And then it was hella painful. I couldn't go and perform with them in my head, only to see that I was just dancing around the living room with my eyes closed." 

"You went into your past? " I asked, trying to make sense of what he was saying. 

Kellin nodded. "Kinda. But I'm fine. I just need some space. Can you please go? " He looked at the door. I nodded in understanding. 

I closed the door to his room, whispering quietly. "I love you. " But he couldn't possibly have heard me. I went to my own room, sitting on the edge of my bed. Suddenly, I didn't want to go on tour. I shot a text in the band's group chat, and Jaime was the first one to answer. 

Me: I don't wanna go on tour anymore guys... 

Jaime: what happened? 

Jaime: it's about Kellin, isn't it? 

Jaime: Vic, ik how you feel but you can't just stay right there next to him forever. You both have lives, you more so than him. 

Tony: Vic.. This is more serious than that. You can't cancel a tour. 

Me: I want... I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do. 

Mike: you could always take Kellin with us... 

Jaime: he's more than welcome if it'll get you to come with us. 

Jaime: but if you don't wanna take him, than you'll just have to deal with it. You've done the distance thing before. 

Jaime: what about getting someone to stay with him? 

Tony: Vic. Read what their saying. Now isn't the time to be stubborn. 

Me: guys... It's so much more than that. 

Mike: you need to start talking then. What the hell is Kellin doing to himself that is so bad that you think we should cancel the tour? 

Me: He's a motherfucking heroin addict. And blood addict. And soon to be blood tablet addict. And a recovering self-harm addict. 

Jaime: That guy's a hot mess. 

Jaime: and your relationship is toxic. 

Jaime: he's taking over your entire life. 

Tony: I'm sorry, Vic. That must be so hard. 

Me: I didn't mean to get your pity. And I'm not leaving him either, Jaime

Jaime: never said that you should. 

Tony: I didn't mean it that way. But please, we need you on tour. Because think about all of those people who can't live without us. 

Mike: Vic, Tony's right. 

Me: ok. ok. You guys are right. I'm being radical. Of course we're going on tour. 

Jaime: Kellin will be fine. 

Mike: He'll live. You guys need a little bit of space anyways. You'll be okay too. 

I turned my phone off. I knew that they were right, but I wasn't lying. I really didn't want to go anymore. Kellin was right. I needed him too.