''I dont care,''I say
But the lump in my throat says otherwise
'' I didn't trust them anyway. ''
But the hurt in the pit of my stomach says otherwise
"I saw that coming. "
But the tears I hold back till my eyes turn scarlet might not believe how.
"I have moved on. "
But the pictures in my phone, the ones I never delete might not agree.
"I don't believe in miracles. "
But my head that keeps looking up to the sky might disagree.
"I dont wish for things anymore. "
But my wandering eyes, wishing to somehow conjure a face might not bode to this too well.
"I don't feel things. "
But my racing heart skipping a beat at a mere thought might suggest otherwise.
"I am not emotional, a stoic"
But the hole in the wall my fist left when it all went to shit will beg to differ.
"I don't deserve you. "
But my numbing feet that would have walked through fire for you refuse to believe that.
"I like it like this, alone, free."
But my empty eyes landing on every face, forging a place I knew might suggest otherwise.
"Your betrayal didn't hurt me."
My aching back with your knife still twisted in it may not agree.
"I dont believe in love."
But my hands raised in prayer, praying, asking, not a single prayer for myself, but raised still might not agree.
"I don't expect anything from you."
But the tightness in my chest, my choking voice when you leave me high and dry will never agree.
"I saw the red flags."
But the rose colored glasses I clutched in my hands might not agree.
"I love myself."
But the spiralling haze of ridicule I threw at what I see in the mirror wil never agree.
"I didn't love you."
But my quivering lips, spitting the words out like venom might never agree.
"I have forgotten everything."
But the scars from memories still oozing fresh blood give me a mock smile.
"I have faith."
The cynic in me snorts.
"I am not sad."
My wet pillow takes me for a liar.
"I am not depressed."
The third cancelled plan this week retorts.
"I am fine."
"I am fine."
As words form out of my tongue. Coming out of my throat like broken glass.
"I am fine. "
"I am fine."
My numbed senses might not follow through.
"I am fine."
"I am fine."
I say running out of all explanations,flimsy and weak.,
"I am fine."
As I say it loud.
I don't even believe my own words as soon as they set me free.
"Fine. "
You caught me I am a liar.
Guess what? We all are liars.
We should be liars.
We must be liars.
