Selfish

FIRST CHAPTER

I don't know why I didn't change my mind. How I thought we would work out in the end. You always told me things I wanted to hear, and I stupidly fell for your trick. All those sweet nothings and sugarcoated words were all for naught when I found out what kind of person you were and why you chose me in the first place.

10 years later--right after high school. And yet here we are, married and with one kid. One child that we raised together and loved with all our hearts. All Grownup and loving almost everything, but especially sports. And me.

I avert my eyes from the scene in front of me and instead imagine happy thoughts-- which was unsurprisingly the pride in raising my son, Sam. He was in a football field, smiling widely. As always, I was there to support the star quarterback, but unfortunately, you were too busy with work.

Work? Was this the work you've been doing the past years since we've been together. How could I not have noticed?? It's all coming together now.

"Charlie..." He says, raising his arm towards me, "This is just a big misunderstanding."

A big misunderstanding. Your hands on her hips told me enough that it was not just a misunderstanding. It was a fucking wack to the head. Your hair is rumpled since the hands that weren't mine stroked them probably lovingly while you two were fucking like goddamn fucking animals. And like a jab to the heart, no one would look twice at how both of you were naked and were having an affair since, of course, she's a very beautiful woman who looks about your age.

"...How could you?" I finally mutter the words. It went out croaky and dry. It felt like they were taped shut in my mouth and I had to rip it open, making me feel the sting at each word I bleed out of my mouth.

"Oh my god." The woman--no, Katheryn gasped. I knew her as his assistant. Never would I have guessed that my fucking gay-faggot-of-a-husband would cheat on me with a hetero. This isn't real--is what I want to tell myself, but it clearly was.

Tim ripped himself away from the woman and stepped towards me with only tight boxers covered his genitals. Not like I didn't know what they looked like. When was the last time we had sex? Maybe before he went to this 'business trip' and the day before that... Is that a healthy sex life?, I thought to myself.

"Listen." He says, "I can explain--" but before he could even finish, I gesture my hands in an awkward motion to push him away from me. I don't want him to touch me right now, I don't want to look at him, and I definitely didn't want to smell his intoxicated breath.

"I think this..." I say gesturing to the scene in front of me, "...is enough for me to understand." He tries to take hold of my arms but I shake them off.

I came to surprise visit my husband on his business trip without thinking much of it. Sam wasn't even bothered to be left alone at the house, rather, he was glad that he could have some time to host a party. It took me a moment to feel the wet, gross feeling trickling down my cheeks. The warm--no, the hot stream flowing down my cheeks that were so cold.

I was crying.

I never cried that much. The last time I remember was last year when Sam had dislocated his shoulder and had to get surgery immediately. That freaked me out. Like, it got me bawling my eyes out until Sam begged me to stop crying over something 'so stupid'. That was the last time he ever thought of crossing me--or so I thought.

"Charlie..." Tim spoke up. I look up at him with a glare and he appeared to flinch.

I was always told I had the scariest look whenever I was mad. Like a demonic presence had taken command of my body or a tiger hunting down its prey. I had inherited it from my mother and she had inherited it from her father and so on. It was an insecurity of mine since I never wanted to be a bad person. I wasn't that person I used to be when I was young anymore. Goddamit. I blinked, feeling the slight sting from my now slightly dry eyes. I bit my bottom lip to hold in the hurricane that it held inside my mouth.

He then proceeded to hold my cheek in his hand, but I was swift enough to send my hand in the air and slap him hard across the face. It delivered a sickening sound, causing the aura to be even quieter than it was earlier.

I may not look like it, but despite my mediocre frame of 5'8, I was able to throw hands whenever I needed to. I did not waste my years of having my parents send me to Taekwondo classes just to rot away. Compared to my husband's tall and built figure of 6'3, I'd reached just enough. Though this time he seemed to accept the hit since every time we fought I could never tackle him down. It always ended with him holding me against him so that I could only hit his back until I was exhausted and could only weep.

"It's not what you think it is." He repeated.

"Oh, Fuck you." My tears flowed even harder again and through my now blurry vision, concern was painted all over Timothy's look.

"Please, don't cry," He now held me still by the shoulders. "Fuck. I'm sorry, Charlie. I swear this is just a big misunderstanding."

I shake my head harshly. I didn't want to listen to his shallow pretenses. Everything was too obvious just for it to be a misinterpretation.

"How could you, Timothy?" The hetero-woman Katheryn spoke up. I glanced over at her. She was now standing up and holding the blanket over her chest. She looked furious too. Had she not known I was his husband?

"What?" That was the only word Tim could mutter. He spoke in such a pissed-off tone, I was surprised he hadn't blown up.

Before he could speak up again, the woman reached her hand out dramatically, "Last night was amazing! Why didn't you warn me about him coming here?"

Tim now lets go of me and points sharply at the woman, "Listen. I don't know what you are up to, but nothing happened between us."

He then turns back to me, "We don't even stay in the same room, Charlie. Her room is two doors away, I don't-"

Before I could even let him finish, I stomp out of the hotel room and into the hallway. Timothy follows right behind me, muttering words I didn't want to listen to.

"Charlie, please."

I don't turn around to look at him. I continue ignoring him and walked inside the elevator, only Timothy didn't follow me inside since he was basically nearly exposed.

"I'm going home." I sniffled

"Will you please let me explain myself?" He holds the door from closing. A couple went out of their hotel room and instantly noticed the scandal we were performing. The woman appeared to stop and deliberated whether or not was the right time to go have some fun at the casino with her lover. Still, they made up their mind and determined that some faggots weren't going to wreck their day.

"No," I replied back to him then looked down at the floor. I continued to ignore him.

The couple walked towards us and into the elevator, giving us weird looks but not saying anything. They stayed quiet while they waited for the scary, tall man to let go of the elevator doors.

Timothy sighed in frustration and backed away, raising his hands in the air in defeat. As the doors were finally slowly closing, he quickly knelt on the ground and punched the floor with his fist. Even with the carpet, it still created a loud booming sound, causing everyone, especially me, to jump. I was pretty sure there was a crack under there now, but I didn't give two shits.

The elevator hummed down. There wasn't even any music. Somehow, the stillness was making it more awkward rather than when there was music. I proceeded to bawl my eyes out and sniffing my nose as we went down the floors. I wiped my face with my hand since I didn't want to use the spare shirt in my small bag as a handkerchief.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" The woman asked me. She held a bottle of water towards me, "Do you need some water?"

"I'm fine, thank you." I wave my hand politely.

"You look like you need it more than I do." She points out. She was correct. Even though I wasn't yelling that much earlier, I still felt that throb in my throat and there was no other way I could think of washing it down except for some tequila. However, the sight of the cold, dripping bottle of water in her hands was tempting me.

I eagerly take the bottle from her and sip it. It immediately relieved my throat and I closed my eyes to enjoy the taste. It somehow hit me differently, considering I was crying until my tear bags were sucked dry. After that, I thank them and bid them goodbye as we step out of the elevator. I went outside the fancy 5-star hotel and took a taxi to the airport then a ticket home while never once looking back.