Chipped Heart

Chapter 9:

Breathing was harder to do. All of my dreams of Brianna were coming back, and it was hard to stay happy. Around my family and friends, I tried my best. Never letting them see a moment of sadness, but being alone was when it had hurt the most. Ethan didn't want me, and my sister really was gone. Two of the most important people in my life were stripped away from me.

There were consequences for my actions. Mom decided to not travel, so she could keep an eye on me. I wasn't allowed to party, have my phone, or leave whenever I wanted for a while. She also was pushing me to get closer to Declan because of who I've been hanging around lately.

Cool breezes blew in my hair as I drove back from school. Mom ranted about one of her coworkers, but nothing she said processed in my mind. We passed by the beach, and I remembered when Ethan came here with me. A hit of pain hit my chest. "Mom?" She turned her head towards me. The short brown bob flew with her. "Declan wants me to go to the Philippines with him for Christmas break, and we leave in two days. Is it okay? I know that I'm on punishment, but he's my best friend."

Mom flashed a huge smile at me while side eyeing the hope in my eyes. Knowing that Ethan was my boyfriend made her want to push me further on to someone else. Anyone at all that wasn't a robber. I didn't believe the full story that the cops told us. Ethan must've had a reason to rob someone. "Absolutely! That's good that you want to hang out with someone else. I was so surprised by finding out who you've been hanging out with. That's partially your father and I fault. We need to be around more."

"Ethan isn't a bad person." I snapped at her before realizing how it sounded. Guilt washed over me. All of the stress I put her under was understandable. She wanted what was best for me. "Sorry. It's just...he means a lot to me. You guys have nothing to worry about though because he wants nothing to do with me."

Mom's face softened. A deep amount of guilt crossing her eyes, and I felt bad. There was nothing she should feel guilty for. Anything bad that's happened was my fault. No one else's. "He still hasn't let you visit him?" Ever since Ethan got locked up, I've tried to see him. Mom attempted to remind me of my punishment, but gave up after a tantrum was starting to brew. Several hits to me came as the words flew out her mouth. "His loss, sweetie. You're amazing."

How was I supposed to know if that was true though? As a parent, it was her job to remind me of how great she thinks I am, but that doesn't mean I'm actually as amazing as she thinks. Why would people constantly leave if there was nothing wrong? Brianna died because of my stubbornness, my parents were never home in order to put food on the table, and Ethan thinks I'm some sort of monster.

Maybe this is what I deserve. To be alone without anyone to remind me of how "amazing" I am. This is probably a punishment for being an asshole all my life. Everything was my fault. There was no hope or love in my future. Only an empty, cold darkness for the rest of my miserable life.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway, petals were placed everywhere. Mom hid a smile while trying to pretend to be shocked. I raised an eyebrow at the weird behavior, and carefully got out of our car.

There was no breeze today. Heat came from the sun, and animals were in our garden picking at whatever food they found. Dad sat on the couch flipping through channels trying to pretend he didn't see us walk in. "Hey, dad." My sheepish voice said softly while turning to look at Trevor in the kitchen. He was feeding grapes to his boyfriend, and laughed at some inside joke. Frustration slowly crept into me at everyone's weird behavior. We always seemed like the perfect family, but this was different. It was like something straight out of the Twilight Zone. None of them knew how to act, so they seemed like robots. I quickly pinched myself to make sure this wasn't a dream, but my eyes never snapped open. "Okay. Well, I'm going to grab a snack."

A quick hand reached out to me, and I turned to face mom. An eager smile on her face. "No! I mean, you have to follow the petals. They're here for you." Too much excitement was in her eyes, and I thought she was fangirling for a second. Her pupils dilated like mine while reading any romance story in a book.

Dad had to hold mom back in order to keep her from following me. More light seeped through the windows as I walked up each step. Clouds of darkness following. Being alone in the dark has turned into my biggest fear lately. That's when all of my thinking happens, so I avoid it at all costs.

Soft music came from inside of my room, and it sounded weird. No music has been played from my room since Brianna died. Blasting music in our rooms were our thing. Without her, it didn't seem right anymore. My jaw dropped as soon as my door swung open. Declan stood in my room with his middle part, eager smile, and hopeful eyes. Light radiated from him, and I almost thought I was looking at an angel. Two youthful daisies were in his slender hands. Music came from a speaker in the corner of my room, and I looked towards it. A video of Declan playing the piano while singing was shown.

Water stung my eyes, and I wanted to kick myself. Declan has been the only person that made living better since Ethan left. "Jenna Williams, you're my bestfriend. Someone that has been by my side since we were in diapers. Even after not seeing one another in four years, our bond didn't fade. It's like destiny keeps uniting us." Declan placed the flowers in my hair while grabbing my hands. "You're the best person I know. Everything about you is beyond beautiful. From inside and out. Give me a chance? Please? To give you the happiness you deserve."

I had no more control over my body. Tears dropped out of my eyes like dominos. How could someone like him want me? Someone who was broken without repair. He deserved someone better. No words came out of my mouth, and I bit my lip in frustration. Declan started to lean in, and I didn't want to stop him. "Declan." The word slowly fell from my mouth like a waterfall. A high pitched volume that would scare anyone. "I'm still not over Ethan."

Small pieces of hope crumbled from his perfect face. Each piece replaced with jealousy, and for a second his jaw clenched. Instead of looking at me, he was looking straight through me. Guilt washed over me. What type of friend could hurt her bestfriend like this? Seconds passed, and Declan rested his forehead on mine. Warmth came from him, and I sighed. "It's a good thing I'm a pretty patient person than." A dry laugh escaped his mouth. It was obviously only made to make me feel better. I wrapped my arms around Declan to cling to whatever pieces of home came.

Nighttime crept in like a snake. Despite the moon being out, heat still came. Music blasted from the inside of our home. Some of my parents co workers came over for no particular reason. I laid on the roof of my house watching every star that came into view.

Gentle footsteps came from behind me, but I didn't care to look towards the sound. Planets have always caught my eye. Studying things beyond human knowledge fascinated me. For a species that didn't know much, we sure did seem sure of ourselves. Anything out there could crush us without even looking back at the world that was once there.

"Rough day?" A soothing voice said while sliding next to me. Declan smiled gently while watching every emotion come across my face.

A smile spread across my face. "Only the norm. My bestfriend confessed his undying love for  me." We both laughed while turning to face the moon once again. "In all seriousness, you're a really good person. I'm glad we know each other, Declan." I took his hand while keeping my eyes on the stars.

Suddenly, something start to shoot through the sky. One of the stars was running away from something, and I felt oddly close to it. "A shooting star. Make a wish." I followed his orders while closing my eyes.