Chipped Heart

Chapter 10:

Christmas break came sooner than expected. Each day seemed to be easier to deal with, and I slowly started to force myself to be okay. Being sad wasn't going to solve anything. Brianna was still dead, my parents will go back to work soon, and Ethan wanted nothing to do with me. The only way I will ever be able to find real happiness is by letting it go. Trevor seemed to be a master at that, but it's taken me a while to adjust to it. Sinking in my feelings is usually my only coping mechanism. After this past year, it was time to try something different.

Mom smiled while helping me grab my bag. Everyone waited downstairs for me to be ready to go. I gave my mom a tight hug while holding onto her scent. Even though it's only a week, I was going to miss her beyond words. "I'm going to miss you, mom."

She slowly let go of me, and smiled brightly. "You're going to come back to me." It wasn't a choice. Mom refused to lose another child. "Besides, you'll only be gone a week, and I'll be here waiting for you."

As Mrs. Reyes pulled out of my driveway, everyone followed the car waving goodbye. This would be my first time leaving the country since Brianna left. A blow to the chest caused me to gasp softly. Declan placed his hand right side up in the middle seat, and I took it. Warmth and comfort was the only way this week was going to be bearable.

I sat next to Declan on the outside seat. Being on the inside was only going to make me feel claustrophobic. Babies cried as their parents tried to soothe them to sleep, attendants helped the passengers out, and a man on a loud speaker announced that we were getting ready for take off. Once we were in the air, Declan started to look queasy. I laughed at his fear of heights while allowing him to rest his head on my shoulders. Helping him with a fear was the least I could do after rejecting him. These last three weeks went by quickly because of the fun Declan brought. Everything about him could make anyone happy. As soon as he smiled, you had no choice but to follow suit.

Flying in the air became easier as my eyes fell. Every little noise hadn't bothered me as much, and the kid kicking my seat didn't frustrate me anymore. Darkness crept in around me, and inside my mind. I took a deep breath while holding onto Declan more for comfort, and fell fast asleep.

Our plane boarded sooner than I had thought, and people hurried off of it. Too many people seemed to be sick from the flight. One person was even throwing up in a clear plastic bag. I had to look away in order to prevent vomiting myself. A van was parked in the corner of the parking lot, and an older lady stood in front of it. Declan's family came out to visit quite often, but I didn't know them that much. The last time I seen any of them was eight years ago.

The old lady greeted us with a welcomed smile. Everyone started to speak in their home language while I awkwardly clung to Declan. They all seemed to forget about me standing here which made disappearing easier. As we walked a small distance back to the van, I tripped over a rock, and everyone snapped as I yelped. "Hello." My voice was weak and my face was embarrassed. They allowed me in the van first while continuing to talk. Declan laughed at me, and I punched his arm out of embarrassment.

Music came from a small blue home. Trees were in front of it, and the grass was a beautiful bright green. Everything here seemed absolutely tropical. People were outside of the home dancing to music together. Smiles placed their faces. Everyone got out of the van while laughing, and casually danced with them. I laughed as Declan started to grab our bags in the trunk while playfully dancing to the music.

"Hi!" Someone's perky voice called from behind us. A little girl with pigtails stood behind us with a smile. "My name is Sophie."

I smiled, and shook her hand. "My name is Jenna."

"Oh, I know. Declan has told us a lot about you." She laughs at Declan's embarrassed face, and runs as he chases he through the grass. All of the bags on his arms weighing him down slightly. As she runs behind the same older lady from earlier, he gives up.

We walked inside of the house, and I couldn't help but to look around. Pictures of all of the families hung on the walls. People walked around the house with smiles on their faces, and spoke in a language I didn't fully understand. Declan taught me some filipino, but not enough for a proper conversation. There were two guest rooms which meant that I had to share a room with Declan. I didn't mind having to share one with him. He made a comment about it being better than sharing with his parents who always snored, or talked in their sleep. Our room was at the end of the hall somewhat away from everyone else. I dropped my bag while looking around the neat room. "So what do you think?" Declan flopped on the bed while smiling brightly.

"This is...wow. I mean, this place is beyond beautiful."

He laughed while walking up to me. I inhaled deeply as he walked closer to me. Two small knocks came from outside the door, and it was like a miracle. A savior from another rejection. Declan's grandmother walked inside of the room while hitting his arm. She spoke quickly, and it was too fast for me to pick up on. "She said keep the door open at all times."

The night sky appeared over us as everyone danced. Laughter came from them as I sat on a chair drinking water. Instruments were being played loudly as they all continued to dance together. Declan fit right in with his family. For a second, the American and English side of him disappeared. It was as if he'd lived here all his life. Every song that came on was one of his favorites, and he caught everyone's attention while dancing. I smiled while continuing to watch him from afar. "Declan is the best dancer in our family." Sophie said next to me. It was as if the twelve year old had appeared out of nowhere. I gasped. "Sorry. My family says that I'm kind of like a snake. Very sneaky."

"What a shocker." I said while laughing. My attention went back to Declan as he continued to dance.

A smile crept on Sophie's face. "Someone has a crush." I began to protest, but she shook her head. "Let me talk. You guys have known each other you're entire life, and you're both good looking people. It's weird to only be friends. Let me guess. There's someone else?"

I nodded slightly. "Used to be."

'So what's stopping you from being with someone who can make you happy?" She asked while nudging me. I couldn't but to laugh while swatting away a few bugs. We talked while watching the show. Despite her age, it was easy to talk to Sophie. She was really mature.

Later on that night, everyone was fast asleep. My mind was searching through old memories as Declan sat in a chair on his phone. It was weird for him not to want to be next to me. Maybe the entire crush thing made everything awkward. "Declan?" My voice called out into the darkness.

He closed his phone. "Yes?"

"Why do you like me?"

Seconds passed. I was sure that he hadn't heard me. Nothing could be seen in the dark, and it scared me. The unknown has always been a big fear of mine. Finally, he became clear and sat in the bed. I sat upright to look him in the eyes. "You're amazing. There's never been anything to stop you from getting what you wanted, and we've known each other our whole lives. Maybe it's fate that we both clicked even after spending years apart."

I looked down at my hands unsure of what to say. How could anything I say compare to that? It didn't make sense. Someone as perfect as him, liked a person as damaged as me. What a strange world. "I like you, Declan. Maybe I have for a long time, but I've been scared."

"Of what?"

"Of being damaged. What if I'm not worth it, you know? What if you get tired of me, and leave like everyone else?"

He instantly knew who was in my mind. He touched my soft face with care. It was like I was the most precious person to him. "I would never leave you." Tears stained my eyes, but a nod came. No words were able to force themselves out of my mouth. Moonlight became our only light as my heart started to beat faster. Our faces were only inches apart, and my eyes slowly closed. As soon as our lips collided, it was a thrill of comfort spiraling through me. Darkness consumed us, but it felt different this time. Declan was here to face it with me.