How could I have known?

Alone forever

(YO HUGE TRIGGER WARNING RIGHT NOW PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION.)

Sean POV

As I heard the Skype call hang up, I let out a sigh and starred up at the ceiling. Mark called me handsome while we weren't even recording. I was probably just thinking into it too much, but the thought stirred up an odd feeling in me. It wasn't an intense feeling, but was noticeable.

I got up and walked out into the kitchen. I grabbed a bottled water out of the fridge and sat down at the kitchen table. The apartment was dark, quiet, and most of all... Lonely. I was completely alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company.

I thought about what it would be like to have a significant other to share a home with. I began to feel more and more depressed the more I thought about it. I wondered if I would ever find somebody for me.

My eyes began to fill with what felt like oceans of tears. The thought of being alone forever scared me deeply. I felt so empty.

I rolled up my sleeves to reveal scars caused by past struggles. I hesitated, clenching my fists and watching my veins press themselves against my skin. As I arose from my seat at the table and made my way towards the bathroom, I could feel the hole in my chest widen. The pain was quickly becoming too much to bare. I needed a release.

I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I sat down on the closed toilet and removed my sweater, throwing it to the side. I reached into the cabinet and pulled out a pack of disposable razors, opening the package and pulling one out. I proceeded to break the thin metal blade out of its plastic case.

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By the time I had realized what time it was, it was already six in the morning. I stayed up all night.

(A/N: it's that time of the week yo. The second chapter of "how could I have known" is up. I just wanted to give a huge thank you to my friend Miranda ((@absolute.bliss on Instagram. Idk her wattpad acc oops)) for reviewing my work and polishing it for me. If it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't have the courage to post this story tbh)