All or Nothing

6

"Walk me through it again," Dinah asks the next day, sitting beside Camila on Normani's couch, in town visiting her for the weekend, and looking at her with wide, sympathetic eyes. "Because I cannot believe that anyone would be able to resist that face of yours."

"There's nothing more to say," Camila replies with a little pout – she's been brooding ever since she'd stalked out of Lauren's apartment last night, spent her evening in-front of her easel and getting her whirling thoughts out on the canvas. "I tried to kiss her, she pushed me away, and she told me that it would never work because I'm not worthy of her."

"Were those her actual words?" Sofi is on Camila's other side, her eyes narrowed into slits, and Camila wonders if she's going to have to make sure that Sofi doesn't accidentally bump into Lauren in the hallway. "Because if they were, she can go to hell."

"Well, no," Camila sighs, shifting a little in a seat. "But it was implied. She said 'look at us', and when I asked if she meant that I was too beneath her to date, she said it wouldn't work. And I got mad and left."

"You deserve better than her," Sofi murmurs, the arm wrapped around Camila's shoulders squeezing her protectively. "You'll find better than her."

"I don't know," Camila mumbles because Lauren Jauregui has everything and Camila wants her more than she's wanted someone else in a long, long time. "I just don't get it. She was flirting with me. She said I looked pretty and that was the only reason I thought it would be a good idea to kiss her. God, I'm such an idiot."

She drops her head against the back of the couch with a groan, because what she'd had with Lauren, the light playful banter... it had brightened her days, made her heart sing and her pulse race, and now she's managed to ruin it and she doesn't even know how.

She just hopes that she hasn't ruined things with Leo, too, because teaching him to paint is always the highlight of her day, and watching him bloom and come into his own right before her eyes almost an honor.

"You're not an idiot. I'm sorry for encouraging you," Sofi murmurs with a sigh, and when Camila cracks her eye open it's to find her sister looking at her with worried eyes. "I thought it'd end differently."

"Yeah," Camila mutters, "me too."

"But I don't get it," Dinah interrupts, chewing thoughtfully on her bottom lip. "Cause it sounds like she does like you. I mean, why would she invite you back to her place for a drink and cuddle up with you on the couch if she didn't?" Camila just shrugs, because she doesn't know. "And you've been awfully quiet." Dinah's accusing gaze flickers over to Normani, who's sitting in the armchair opposite them. "Don't you know Lauren better than the rest of us?"

"I do," she agrees, inclining her head. "I wouldn't say I really know her, though. She's a private person and I've only been at Jauregui Inc for a few months."

"But?" Dinah prompts, sensing there's more left unsaid and Normani heaves a sigh loud enough to get Camila's attention, looking like she wonders whether it's a good idea to be saying anything at all.

"But... for what it's worth... I do think Lauren feels something for you." Camila feels her heart clench because she doesn't understand any of this – she's seen Lauren's eyes on her lips, seen the way her eyes had darkened and her pupils had dilated as Camila had loomed closer, knows that she'd wanted Camila to kiss her. "I saw you two at the gallery opening, and I've never seen her like that before. I've never seen her smile that much before. She looked happy, and so did you."

"So then why - "

"Maybe because she's scared," Normani interrupts with a small shrug. "I don't know her very well, but she doesn't... she doesn't open up to people easily. To anyone. And maybe when she said 'look at us', she didn't mean that she was out of your league – maybe she meant that you were out of hers."