Hindi Tayo Puwede (BL)

ii. ikaw

Alas tres ng hapon.

Oras kung kailan unang nakita ni Lukas si Gin.

He clearly remembered that it was the 13th day of October. Nagsisimula ng lumamig ang hangin... nagkalat na rin ang mga nanunuyong dahon sa paligid, at ang mga pusong natutulog ay nagsisimula ng gambalain ng mga panaginip at bangungot ng kahapon at hinaharap.

It was a time of change. And Lukas was on the verge of experiencing the greatest change in his teenage life.

It was the day he first fell in love.

When Lukas saw Gin, he immediately felt like he was staring at his little brother's drawing.

A mess on a blank canvas. A collection of scribbles and lines and a chaotic desire to paint the whole canvas black.

For Lukas, Gin was a painting of black and white. With skin as white as sheets and eyes as black as the charcoal tip of a pencil that was long lost and forgotten—the boy looked like nothing he had ever seen.

In a room full of colorful people with colorful smiles and more colorful lies...Gin was the only one who remained black and white.

May parte sa konsensiya ni Lukas na nagsasabing dapat hindi na siya napatingin pa sa direksyon kung nasaan si Gin. Dapat ay nagtuloy-tuloy na lamang siya sa paglakad at pag-layo at hindi na huminto upang mas titigan ang kakaibang binata.

Dapat ay nanatili lamang siya sa kung nasaan siya dapat lumugar.

Dapat ay nakuntento na lamang siya sa pagtingin ng malayuan.

Hindi pinagsisihan ni Lukas ang nangyari sa kanila ni Gin ngunit siya'y napapaisip kung mas sasaya ba ang magiging buhay nito kung hindi siya nagsumiksik dito? Kung hindi siya naglakad papalapit dito isang biyernes ng Oktubre at nagpakilala? Kung hindi ba siya nagpumilit na maging parte ng buhay ni Gin, mas magiging payapa ba ang buhay ng binata?

But Lukas didn't have full control of himself that fateful day.

He was instantly pulled into the chaos inside the eyes of Gin.

There he was, a boy whose smile alone could light up the entire room if he wanted to, the golden boy of his school— staring and gawking at a scrawny little transferee boy as if his life depended on it.

"Ah fuck,"

Napatingala si Lukas sa kisame ng canteen at napamura sa biglaang naramdaman.

Hindi niya inaasahan ang emosyong lulunod sa kaniya pagkakita sa bagong salta, o sa mga emosyong gustong umapaw na mula sa kaniya nang panoorin niya si Gin na ngumiti sa kausap nitong matanda.

The feelings were new to him, and he was scared.

He was overwhelmed.

"Hoy gago, anong nangyari sa'yo?"

Nilingon niya ang kaibigan niyang si Aki. Tumakas lang sila sa practice para sa foundation day kaya naroon sila sa canteen at bumibili ng tubig. Sino bang mag-aakalang doon niya makikita ang taong nakatakda niyang hahabulin habang buhay?

"Kilala mo kung sino 'yan?" Tanong niya sa kaibigan. He dared to look back at the new kid again. His little smiles were enough to drive Lukas insane.

"Sino? 'Yang transferee?!"

"Oo. Kilala mo? Kahapon pa sa atin sinasabi 'yan ni Miss Alarcon 'di ba? I forgot his name, do you remember?"

Tumango si Aki at kinuha ang sukli nila sa tubig na binili. Tumayo naman sa lamesa kung saan sila kumain ng meryenda sila Gin at ang kausap nitong matanda.

"Oo, 'yung Japanese. Gin ata pangalan niyan, 'di ako sigurado."

Gin. Gin. Gin. Gin.

Even his name was already enough to make Lukas forget about his sanity.

Gin's name was simple. But on Lukas' lips, it became a prayer and a litany—a promise of tomorrow's tragedy.

God. To think that Gin wasn't even that pretty.

His face was sharp and cold. It was as if he was born to judge others and be judged by them in return. His eyes were a bit rounder and angled downward, and his lips always tightened into a thin line, except for several occasions when he would break into timid smiles.

Gin's face told a story of how every bad thing had already happened to him, even though he was still young.

And Lukas loved it.

He loved it so much that even though his knees trembled and his heart violently began rejoicing, his feet started walking towards the white and black canvas he fell for.

"Huy! Saan ka pupunta! Teka, Lukas! Huy!"

Lukas ignored Aki's calls and let his feet drag him toward the enigma that was Gin.

He only stopped when he was in front of him.

He only stopped when he was only meters away from the disaster that's always present around Gin.

"Hi," he began to say, "Ako nga pala si Lukas. Gin ang pangalan mo 'di ba?"

Alas tres ng hapon.

Oras kung kailan unang nakita ni Lukas si Gin—Oras kung kailan unang nagsimulang magkabuhol-buhol ang sinulid ng kanilang mga kapalaran.

At ang oras din kung kailan ang isang Lukas Del Fuego ay nasimulang piliing mahalin ang isang taong hindi naman sa kaniya itinadhana at kahit kailan ay hindi niya makukuha.