Cupidity

Rated Accordingly

     Cupid hasn't been mentioned for a little while because he had actually left the four and had gone back to find and follow the right guy. During this long period of time he had shot another dude, which so happened to be a police officer on a white horse. And you know the deal, his eyes got big and round. His back straightened and became stiff as a board. His aura changed from red to white, but as he pulled a thin black mask from his uniform pocket and tied it around his head, Cupid couldn't help but giggle, letting out a snort as he quickly covered his mouth. While he was face first in his cloud and trying to breath while laughing, the lone park ranger had somehow placed the right guy on the back of his horse, whom he intentionally called Silver, and was galloping toward the Park. By the time they reached it, the hotdog vendor and the wrong guy with his tree had arrived at the right guy's girl's whatever apartment and were standing in the second elevator calm and curiously happy. They would've gotten in the first elevator but there was an old lady standing in front of it eagerly eyeing their banana. Once the fourteenth ding dinged and the elevator doors opened they had no trouble locating number two, due to it having a big backwards two on the door. The vendor hid on the left side of the door while the wrong guy put the potted tree on the ground, centered with the door, and hid on the right side. They knocked on the door and waited. A sound of footsteps were heard getting louder until the door opened. The vendor, very recently being in possession of a short piece of wood, had completely hauled off and hit the apartment occupant in the face, knocking them right out. To both of their surprise, laying in the doorway at their feet was an elderly man looking to be in his seventies. The wrong guy and the hotdog racer looked at one another with wide eyes and total shock clearly shown on their faces. The vendor checked the old man's pulse to see if his was still alive. The wrong guy nudged him motioning to look at the door. With one finger he spun the supposedly backwards two up to reveal a five. The two men realizing what had happened left the man on the floor with a bruised forehead and small piece of wood laying across his chest. They found number two, walked straight up to it and knocked on the door. A pretty young woman opened the door and was immediately slapped across the face by the hotdog vendor who was intending to knock her out. Failing to do so, the young woman returned the attack by slapping him in the face, which humorously enough knocked him out in stead. The woman and the treehugger stood staring at each other from either side of the doorframe. After a few seconds, the wrong guy graciously handed her the small potted tree which she received without hesitation. Having both hands full, she was not able to block nor did she see his hand coming at all. Thankfully he was able to take the tree from her before she hit the ground.

     When Bluto had stopped convulsing he pulled the security guard out of the car by his back collar and onto the grass. He used a small can of pepper spray on the guard's belt to wake him up by squirting some on his arm. The intense burning made him jolt wake and immediately start crying. Bluto looked up just in time to see the lone park ranger with the right guy, who looked oddly out of character, galloping across the street and into the park. He started to run after them, but turned around, and with annoyance in his demeanor grabbed the security guard's ankle, who was still whining, and began dragging him into the park. 

     Now, just what's happened so far, what do you think is going to happen next? Well, if this was my story, I would have the wrong guy and the hotdog racer with the girl meet up in the park with the right guy in the custody of the lone park ranger and of course fall in love and live happily ever after. But. Don't you just love that word. Unfortunately for you, It's not. The bum, who insisted that this is a true story, actually said that both parties including Bluto and his still rather tearful security guard partner in crime met in sequence at the Bethesda Fountain. The wrong guy and the hotdog racer arrived first, allowing them time to pull the sleeping young lady out of the bike's small refrigerated compartment to thaw. The lone park ranger and his weirdly amused passenger rode up as the two finally managed to pull her out. The right guy slid off the side of the pale white horse, but catching his foot on the stirrup, he swung down and hit his face flat on the pavement instantly rendering him unconscious. His burgundy tie now matched the small trickle of blood emanating from somewhere on his face. Cupid hovered above the fountain almost frozen by what had just happened that he nearly forgot to flap his wings. The young woman was the first to move, running straight towards the limp hanging body. She un-snagged his foot and laid him out carefully on the ground resting his head in her lap. Behind the hotdog trike, Bluto emerged from the trees with the red eyed guard on his back. Noticing the obvious turn of events, Bluto quickly threw the security off and stared empathetically at the right guy on the ground. A few seconds of silence and a couple tears (from Bluto) passed when a faint moan was heard coming from the swaddled victim. To everyone's surprise the right guy's eyes slowly crept open, and after adjusting his focus, he locked eyes with his caresser where they both remained till the ambulance arrived. Now as for the rest of the characters, I mean people, real people. The wrong guy, of course had his tree, the hotdog racer had his nascart, and the lone park ranger had Silver. The vendor had given his banana to the security guard who was strangely and overwhelmingly too happy by it. And finally Bluto, who had caught eye of a lonely duck basking in the fountain, adopted it as his own. But due to their recent friendship forged from tragedy, all five decided to share their possessions between them. They each received a piece of banana, a part of the nascart, and a section of the potted tree. And as for the white horse and the duck, well, I have made a personal decision to rewrite this small portion of the story due to some gore and violence that I didn't want to be read in a book with my name on the cover which was not rated accordingly. So, the horse and the duck were shared between the five as pets. 

     I know that to you, the reader, this would be a normal short story, as in the length and the time it took to read its pages. I also know that some of you would disagree, stating that either it was too long to simply read in one sitting. Or merely not long enough and be considered more of a newspaper article than a short story. But as I sat listening to the completely unmannered homeless man tell his self-ratifying true blue account as he slowly broke apart my banana and ate it, swishing each section through his teeth, I could think of nothing but going home,  jumping in the shower, and literally scrubbing myself raw until I mentally felt clean. The supposedly ten minutes that it was suppose to take, ended up lasting fifteen more. When he finally finished his, what seemed like two hour long tale, he stood up and reached for his gray jacket from a small plastic bag. To avoid another awkward situation, I got to my feet as well and brushed small remnants of who knows what from off my trousers. As we said our farewells, I noticed a yellow and black patch on his left shoulder as he was turning to walk away. It didn't click until there were several yards between us. There was one word that was still apparent from the others that had not yet been worn and disfigured...Security.