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24

Chapter 24 - Pool/Anaheim by NIKI

Jennie's POV

I just got back to my apartment after I met with Rosé.

I feel so exhausted. Exhausted looking for Lisa. Exhausted for the way my feelings are always taking over me.

Maybe, she really has to leave? But why can't she even tell me where she's going? Why is she leaving? If she's okay?

We had a good day yesterday. Nothing suspicious. But then she had the time to have her apartment cleaned out.

As I went inside my room, I saw my bed and remembered how you woke me up yesterday. Telling me how beautiful I am.

Pulling out your camera and kept on taking fifty nine shots of me. It was a good morning.

When I was young I used to check for you under my bed
(Under my bed)
But now I'm older and instead I let you sleep on it
(Sleep on it)

Then we cuddled after laughing so hard. We were happy right? Or was it just I?

You got nerve sayin' it ain't that deep
Friends don't wear skin to sleep

I made soufflé pancakes and you had my face dirtied with batter. We almost had a food fight in my kitchen but you hugged me tightly so I won't be able to make my revenge.

Still, you left.

I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I'll be starting my internship tomorrow. I need sleep if I want my mind to be present during my shift.

King of my condo, there's a second toothbrush by the sink (by the sink)

I would have been fine if you needed space, Lisa. I would've understood. I mean, I'm nothing but have been understanding to you.

I fucking hate loving. It drills you until you're totally worn out and in pieces.

I hate that every time I try and move forward, you had me taking two steps backwards.

Lisa, you make me pull away and when I'm about to finally escape, you always always choose to reach for me.

I'm every metaphor
You hold me like I'm your everything and more
But when the sun rays greet the floor
You make it clear I'm everything but yours

I don't wanna know where you are right now. I don't wanna tire myself out in trying to figure out why you left again.

I deserve more than this don't I?

An explanation would have been more acceptable than just being left like this.

One time she makes me feel beautiful, cared for, loved maybe?

Why'd you let me sink in pools of wishful thinking?
I don't want to swim anymore

Yesterday I fell asleep on the couch. You were gone when I woke up. But you came back.

"Jennie, I bought tteokbokki." You said as you enter my apartment. A huge smile on your beautiful face.

I got excited. I haven't eaten tteokbokki in a while. I've missed it.

https://twitter.com/lisagittar/status/1255397507020062728?s=21

Good times, I guess.

Maybe there really are just some people who will be there to leave you crumbs to fend for.

I shouldn't take crumbs from anyone. I should leave my own crumbs and let them find my trail. Yeah, maybe I should do that.

There ain't nothing left to fight for