yesterday was okay till the last hour and now i feel even worse.
it's 7 am.
i don't wanna go to school.
i wanna go to a beach and lay there all day and just leave all my problems.
okay... you can do this mads.
i get up and take a very warm shower.
a long one too.
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i dont put on make up.
i feel like shit. like actual shit today.
ugh.
mattia is waiting for me on the bed
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hes wearing that^
" hey you ready to go?" he says
" oh- um yeah i guess." i say in a weak voice
" are you okay baby?" he asks
" yeah im fine." i say leaving
we go outside and get in the car
i put on my air pods and just listen to my playlist
even my playlist is depressing.
we get to school and i see the boys
i wave and keep walking
i don't wanna talk to no one really today.
i walk to my locker.
some of my friends say hi but i just wave at them without saying a word
i open my locker and put in some stuff and take it he stuff i need
i feel like crying.
you know when you get waves of sadness
i miss my mom.
she was a piece of shit to me.
but she's still my mom. i grew up with her. she raised me. i still love her even when she used to love me before. she was there for my first period and first date, kiss, she taught me how to ride a bike. and one day she just left me. sold me. for money.
