ɮɨӄɛʀ ɮօʏ (s̷t̷a̷l̷k̷e̷r̷ a̷l̷e̷r̷t̷)

❇Chapter 25❇

💔 M̶̺̿͘į̴̼͕͚̼̿x̸̨̞͗̀́̉̓̚e̵͓͉̍͆̈͗͝ͅd̷͇̰̻͖͚̦̺͕̣̹͐͆͒̾͗͌̓͋͘ ̵̰̹̺̹̳̹̪̖̳͔̄̃̋̈́͗̕̕͝͝s̶̬̠̗͍͙̤̃̎̅͊̀̏͘͝ǐ̸̢̘͔̤͕̦̤̌̒͘g̶̡̨̞̲͓̹͍̙̳͌̎̊̊͂̉̌̃̿̈́n̷̪̹̝̦̦̫͂̂͒̆͝͝a̶̝̩̽͋͑̃̕͜͝l̶̩̙̥̎͜s̸̮͉̤̗̹̞̍̋̿̇̔͘̚͝

Was this the reassurance I needed?

This was a question that played in my mind ever since my only friend, Rosie, who seemed to notice my stalker, had confirmed that I was being stalked and quite frankly I was still coming to terms with it. I always assumed it was just me. Like, I was a crazy person and this was all in my head, well that and self doubts. I mean, I probably didn't look it but I did suffer from low self-esteem which was something I didn't want to show. It was a weakness.

I did come off as rude to some because of my issues and sometimes I never knew what to say. It was the drawbacks of my Primary School life that did this to me. I had thick skin but I hated being the laughing stock and certain people did have a tendency of making me feel like I was the centre of their joke. Call me paranoid but that's what people did to me.

There were girls that used to tell me I was pretty but by their tone? I often couldn't tell if they were being sincere or sarcastic in saying that only so their friends could laugh if I said thank you. Meaning, I clearly wasn't and it was a joke. It's petty I know, but since I couldn't tell, I often cut them off by saying "I know" and walking away instead of saying thank you cause you never know with sarcasm so that's why I said I came off as rude and possibly arrogant to some but I wasn't that, I was just avoiding becoming a joke.

My year seemed to be going well, and today seemed to be like every other day I would time skip to except it wasn't like any other day I would time skip to because what I saw caught me off guard and not in a good way. I was still thinking about my conversation with Rosie the other day before the fight thing and finding out my stalker's name was Austin, who I was beginning to kind of have a crush on. I know, what weirdo crushes on the person stalking them? Unfortunately, that weirdo just happened to be me.

I was attracted to him for some odd reason but I could never bring myself to talk to him even though I was kind of yearning to but something always stopped me. Something always told me something wasn't right or all the words I would want to say would just be left on my tongue and I'd feel completely paralyzed whenever I'd see him.

Now that I think about it, I was probably seen a Betty Is Totally Catching Him (censored but read the first letter of each word if you're not a kid) to my stalker. I gave him mixed signals. Played like I didn't notice him, even though I secretly did. Also my facial expressions were probably terrible, as well.

It probably looked to him like I didn't like him, even though I did, I just couldn't show it oddly enough. Honestly, speaking I didn't want to show I liked him, not because I'm mean or cruel well, perhaps in his perspective of me but I wasn't. There was a reason I didn't show I liked him. Rejection, is a terrible thing, and not being rejected in itself but rather the way people choose to reject you, and public rejection is the worst.

Why I'm speaking in circles? Why I brought this up? I'll tell you now. Yes, I liked my stalker but the reason I chose not to show I liked him back was because I feared being rejected by him. What?! (You never played Tuber Simulator, you know it's fun, right?) (PewDiePie meme Lol). I know, crazy right? I feared being rejected by the person who was clearly obsessed with me.

You see, my experience before I came to High School was terrible. I hated Primary School with a passion and all because of a boy that messed up my little 3rd grade life, which was ruined all the way till 7th grade. However, I can't blame that boy for the chain reaction he caused because it wasn't just him. He wasn't the root of the problem.