The Uncertainty

Part 6

As I was about to hit the ground my eyes flew open. I was dreaming I realized, as I saw the ceiling of my room.
Oh, no... no. Then I realized. I could not breathe. My lungs were seized, I couldn't inhale. I threw my jacket away from me. I was already sitting holding my throat, my lungs were out of air, but It felt like something was stuck in my throat. 
Oh God. I'm dead I'm dead. My mind shouted.
Suddenly, I inhaled and with the cough and I was hyperventilating. I hold myself and calmed my breathing, still unsure what just happened. I drank some water and relaxed myself.

"It was a nightmare, just a nightmare." I murmured myself. 

I checked my window and it was closed. I double checked it and looked around the room. I lied down again but, I could not sleep. Of course, how could I? I was so scared. I went to the washroom and washed my face. I knew whatever I would do, it will not help me sleep anytime soon. But I lied down anyway on my bed. And as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was out of my senses. I woke up with a bright light on my face. I wanted to sleep a little more, because my head was dizzy. I was still feeling sleepy. I ignored it and got up, went to the window to see the weather. It was sunny.

"Ugh... I hate the sun." I said to myself. I stared at the jungle for two minutes and it sent chills in my spine and gave me goose bumps all over my body, even on my face. I shook my head and went to the washroom; I washed my face and brushed my teeth. As it was sunny so, I planned it to wear a V-neck T-shirt with jeans. When I got ready, I went downstairs. My mum was already in the kitchen.

"Morning mom." I smiled at her.

"Morning, morning." She said showing her teeth. She seemed cheery, so I didn't bother ruining it with what happened last night.

"So, what do you want for breakfast?" She continued with the same tone.

"Nothing. I'm not hungry." I said as I sat on the chair near her.

"Why?" She asked me a bit worried now. 

"I don't know." I replied back almost whispering. I was still pretty shaken from last night. The thought of nightmare brought chills to my body. I shook the thoughts and assured her.

"But I will eat something at school."

"Okay." She didn't pry that much.

"Goodbye Mum." I said as I walked to the door. 

Thank God she didn't bring the Chris' topic again. I was in no mood to argue her about it again. When she was not even ready to tell me the truth. But I was ready to launch my own investigation against it. I was ready to go all the way to the truth. I park my car in the half field parking area. I decided to sit in the car while parking area got a little crowded.

My whole day was blurry. I was planning all day how to proceed. My first two periods I didn't pay any attention to the teacher. Neither did they. My mind was pretty occupied with different strategies as to how I would go on about it. Two periods have passed now, and I was still nowhere near anything. At the end I was still blank and still confused, scared and nervous. And here came the English period. My breath got stuck in my throat. I entered the class and was mentally ready to face him, to talk to him a little. Or so I thought.

His seat was empty, and I let out a breath, realizing I was holding my breath. He didn't come. I was happy for a second but got sad the after. My mind was messing with me. Isabella reminded me in the class that it's her birthday and I regretted the time I accepted her invitation. But I wished her anyway and agreed on following her back to her house at the day end.

Finally, the last bell rang, and I went to the parking lot, sitting in my car I rested my head on the headrest.

Why I'm thinking about him so much? Why I care about him? Why... What is he to me? Why I am feeling so badly about it. I thought tearing my eyes.