We'll be alright (Larry Stylinson)

You said you loved me

Trigger warning for self-harm

Louis POV

I sat on the floor of my bathroom, my head in my hands. It had been a particularly bad day, for some reason, everything seemed to be reminding me of him.

The biggest mistake of my life was letting him go. He had moved on though. Here I was hung up on a guy whose solo career was thriving. He was happy, creating amazing music surrounded by friends. I was a fool to think that he'd miss me.

Even though we weren't dating anymore, my management still made me keep up my fake relationship with Eleanor. They didn't think a gay artist would be successful and I'd long since given up on arguing with them.

On most days when I felt like this, I'd call my mom and she'd comfort me, but that thought only made the stabbing grief in my heart stronger. I missed her more every day.

God, why am I such a fucking mess?

The hand holding my razor shook a little, but as soon as the cool metal sunk into my arm I felt better. I'd been doing this for far too long, but I couldn't stop now. It was the only way I knew to deal with my problems. I'd been careful and no one had found out. I always made sure to not cut deep enough for it to leave a very bad scar, I covered my skin in tattoos so the marks were less noticeable. I made it work.

-flashback-

I was cuddling Harry on the couch, the movie playing in the background long forgotten. It was funny, even though he was significantly taller and bigger than me, he always ended up as the little spoon. I was ok with it though, I loved holding him. I loved making him feel protected.

I love him.

One of my arms was wrapped around his shoulder while my other hand played with his hair. His face was buried in my chest as he held me tight. I thought he was asleep until he groggily looked up at me.

"Louis?"

I soft smile played on my lips at the sound of his voice. God, I'm so whipped.

"Yes Love?"

A shy smile appeared on his face at the pet name, but his tone remained serious.

"Do you think we'll ever be able to really be ourselves?" He sniffled a little, a frown creasing his forehead.

I sighed, we had just gotten back from a rather discouraging meeting with our management, they still wouldn't let us come out. I was terrified of the future, but I had to stay strong for Harry.

"I'm sure they'll come around eventually," I said gently, brushing a stray curl from his face.

His eyes started welling up with tears. "But what if we have to stay closeted forever? What if they make us get girlfriends? What if they kick one of us out of the band so we can't see each other anymore?"

The panic in his voice broke my heart. I gently cupped his cheek with one hand, brushing away a tear that had fallen down his face and pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose.

"Hey, don't worry. I don't care what they try to make us do. I love you so much and nothing can ever change that."

Harry's tearful face broke into a grin.

"You said you loved me."

Shit.

"I totally understand if you don't want to say it back, of course you don't have to, its too soon I know I just-"

My panicked rambling was cut off by Harry's soft lips pressing against mine.

"Louis, I love you too. I love you so much. I'm not going to let anything keep us apart. I promise."

I grinned like a kid on Christmas.

"I love you too baby. So much. You have no idea." I pulled his face towards mine for another kiss and soon we were making out on the couch.

I'll never understand how such perfect love could be thought of as wrong.

-End of flashback-

I shuddered at the memory, willing it all away as I cut into my skin once more.

He promised.

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