The Price of Falling

Chapter 31

Rivers and Roads - The Head and the Heart

I lifted myself up on my tip toes and kissed him. A soft, gentle kiss, different from the frantic, groping kisses we'd had in the last couple weeks. I pulled back to look up at him again, and he gazed at me for a second before saying, "Look at the stars."

I glanced up at the shimmering sky, but when I brought my gaze back down he was still looking at me.

Conner took my hand and led me over to the blanket he had laid out in front of the tent. I sat down and brought my legs in to sit criss-cross applesauce while he got a fire started in the fire pit. I just sat, speechless, for a few moments. Aside from my mother, no one had done something this thoughtful for me in a really long time.

Stop. Stop right there with the feelings I thought to myself. My mind was taking some winding detour to catching actual feelings for Conner, and I needed to put a stop to it. But, I wanted this. I wanted to lose my virginity before I started at University of Washington in the fall. And I wanted Conner to be the one that took it.

"Hey, you okay over there?" Conner asked me, glancing at me.

"Yeah, I'm good. More than good actually," I replied. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he said, sitting down beside me, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Now get out of your head, Smithey. Be present."

I laughed out, "You sound like a hippie."

"Well, I try," he smiled at me, holding up a peace sign. Making me laugh again.

"If you had told me three months ago that I'd be sitting here with you, like this, I would've never believed it."

Conner laughed then, and said, "Oh, come on Griffy. I knew you'd spend your summer with me. Who can resist Conner Price?"

I pushed playfully at his chest. "Speaking in third person? Really?"

"Hey, all this joking is good for your soul," Conner said, laying back on the blanket with his hands resting behind his head.

I laid down next to him and closed my eyes, listening to the sound of the waterfall. The water crashing against the pool at the bottom. It was peaceful. In fact, I hadn't felt this much peace in a long time. Looking back at that night, it was the first time I hadn't been worried about my future, or my mom, or anything else on my long list of worries and anxieties.

"Thank you," I breathed out.

"You said that already, Griff," Conner said. I looked over and noticed that he had rolled onto his side, resting his head on his bent arm, and was staring at me.

"I'm nervous."

"About what? I told you, just be in the moment."

"About being in the moment."

"What?" Conner asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

"I'm nervous about being in this moment with you. Because I know what comes next. I mean, I don't know for sure what comes next. I just know about what I think is coming next, and it's driving me crazy a little bit, and I don't know if--" I was abruptly cut off by Conner's mouth on mine. Consequently knocking my thoughts out of orbit.

He rested his lips on mine for a few moments, and when he pulled away, he took my breath with him. Neat trick.

"Will you just shut up, and listen to what I'm telling you. If you're tense, it's going to be everything you don't want it to be," he said gently. "Come here," he said, lying back down on his back and holding his arm out for me to curl into.