Beginners Guide to Being Safe

Trust.

The first thing that I need to talk to my Subs, Doms, and all of my Switches swinging in the middle is trust.

This dynamic you are interested in reading about is something that is not taken lightly. Someone is going to be giving up their control and power and placing it into the hands of their dominant. Having this control and power over someone is a very serious thing, and it requires an insane amount of trust.

This community is fun, of course people are curious about the world and what everything feels like, but with that, people can tend to rush into a situation without thinking of everything clearly just to experience what it feels like.

I am going to be talking about what I refer to as "Tumblr Doms" in another chapter, but having submissives looking for anyone who will give them these new experiences leave the gates wide open for people to come in and abuse the things that our community holds dear.

Trusting your partner or partners means more than simply saying the words. Trusting someone who either has power over you or you overpower means that in the core of your being that you know they have your best interest in their hearts and minds.

A dynamic like this is supposed to work and be mutually beneficial. A submissive is not supposed to care about themselves, but only to worry about their dominant, and the same goes the other way around. While not caring about yourself doesn't in any way mean that you ignore red flags to make them happy, it simply means that you don't need to care about your wants, desires, and needs because you know that is all they are thinking of.

Trust is knowing that when you are in your head three days later about what happened in a scene, they will be there for you to care for and make you feel safe and loved. The dynamic of Dominants and submissives should never be used as a hookup method or in a one night stand because the other person may very well not know you to the core of your being.

I have to admit, I have a very romantic and emotional viewpoint when it comes to this dynamic and that may not be for everyone. Some people choose to simply live by a contract and that makes them completely happy. I can only speak from my own experience, so while the intimate things may not apply to you, the concept of trust should. No person in this community should ever engage in it if there is not complete trust with the other person.

I have personal stories of how situations end poorly if trust is not there. If you would like, in the following chapters I will add personal experiences so that you lovelies can truly understand how important these things are and how it can seriously affect both relationships and mental health.

Be Safe, Be Smart, and Be Sexy,
Love you always!
Lizzie