Thy Neighbor II: Lovin' The Crew

Chapter Fifteen

She knew this day was coming. Ciara stops mid-sip, her chest growing hotter by the millisecond. Dreading what's about to happen, she feels the mercy in Y'lan asking about it first.

"What's up, Y'lan?"

"So what's up with you and Trevante?"

Ciara becomes unnerved at the lightweight aggressive way Y'lan asks his question. Y'lan didn't enter the conversation gracefully and Ciara can tell that he has no plans on letting up. She adjusts her body in her chair, tilting her head to the left as her eyes squint toward Y'lan, trying to make sense of his tone.

"We've been kicking it for a minute. What's good?" Ciara matches his energy and Y'lan feels the shift.

"Hey, I'm not trying to hem you up. I'm sorry if I came off that way. I just went to go see him a few days ago and he told me about y'all, that's all."

Ciara wonders if Y'lan told Trevante about their past. She suddenly feels every pipe within her burst. "Word? Cool."

Ciara's pretend nonchalance bothers Y'lan. Maybe she doesn't care that Y'lan cares. Maybe Trevante found out in between then and now so her inaction to gain a reaction is valid. He decides to go for round two. He needs to know for sure.

"Does he know about us?"

"No disrespect, Y'lan, but you should be the last person to be checking me about what I do."

Y'lan nods his head to fight the anger growing inside of him. "I'm not trying to be disrespectful, Ci. I promise you. I just ... you do know that's my friend, right? When we linked up to talk about it, it didn't seem like he knew. And I didn't want to be the one to tell him because, real talk, that ain't my job."

"I agree with you." Maybe Ciara is done putting up a fight, he thinks. "I'll tell him."

"Bet, cool. Like I said, I ain't mean to make it this big. I just..."

"Does it bother you, Y'lan?"

Y'lan's mind claims that he's protecting Ciara from inevitable heartbreak. Y'lan heart knows that he wishes he and Ciara could try once more to get it right. As the battle rages on between his heart and mind, Ciara's pettiness rages inside of her body. Whatever emotions she possesses about her past with Y'lan are ready to be unleashed. She's waiting for Y'lan to say just the right words.

"That y'all are together? Nah, not really."

"You sure? Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying to you, Ci."

"I mean, you did lie to my fucking face for a smooth year so I don't know..."

Y'lan walked himself right into that response. He braces for the rest of what Ciara has coming his way.

"Yo, Ci. Don't do that. I told you..."

"Told me what? You didn't tell me anything. I found out after the fact that you didn't want me. You showed me, you couldn't tell me."

"How can you say that I didn't want you?"

"You left!" Ciara's tears puddle inside of her eyes as she tries to hold back the scream that undercurrents her words. She exhales, closing her laptop with swift aggression. Y'lan's body sinks into his chair, his mind taking a few more seconds to ponder what to say next.

"I know I can never really earn your trust after that, I know. I'm sorry. You met the worse iteration of me. I'm now a better person."

"You know, I hate that shit. Why did I have to be a casualty of your growth as a person? I didn't sign up to be a "lesson learned", Y'lan. I wanted to be yours."

"Do you still want to be?"

Ciara and Y'lan both pause at the question that escapes Y'lan's lips before it could be stopped.

"Y'lan, I can't... I'm not doing this with you." Ciara shoves her laptop into her bag. Shuffling to find her keys, she looks down at her phone to see a text from Trevante.

Can I see you tonight before you leave for your trip?

Y'lan has his answer.