Kazoku Futarikiri had never placed much value in labels - fat, skinny, loud, quiet, nice, mean. All they were good for was dehumanizing someone, trimming their existence down to a few adjectives.
But she was pretty sure she was a bad person.
Steal...
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My locker swung open, making an obnoxious clanging sound as it slammed into the locker adjacent to mine.
My frustration was not well hidden.
Out of the corner of my eye I spotted bushy brown hair approaching me. I kept my eyes trained forward, just her presence was enough to spur more guilt into me. Even though things ended up going in our favor, I knew I let her down. She asked for my help but I only ended up being a detriment.
"Hey," she greeted, her quiet voice still reached my ears easily due to the relatively empty hallway. "Why didn't you eat with me today?"
"I got busy," I answered. Taking my volleyball bag out and swinging it over my shoulder. "I was there to help you but only fucked things up."
"You were helpful," she reasoned, her voice was cold but her countenance said otherwise. "Nakamura believed me about the stripping thing because you were there! And even if you caused more trouble than you did good, I don't care... I..." she lifted her eyes to meet mine, a gesture that made the genuineness of words her tangible, "I wouldn't have been able to do that alone."
Kazoku voicing her feelings was far from ordinary. Her small speech spurred the butterflies in my stomach momentarily before being crushed by culpability.
I was a fraud. I promised my help but I let her down. I let her down.
"Still, you don't need me," I told her. Silence casted over us, neither of us fully knowing what to say. After a few more miserable seconds, I finally spoke. "I have to get to practice."
The words came out colder than I intended. Why was I pushing her away? Because the mere sight of her reminded me of my failure. Of how I let her down. Am I really that selfish? My mind wanted to go into technicalities to try and save myself from the shame of leaving Kazoku behind, confused and alone. And I let it.
That made me feel even worse, however.
"Wait," I turned to see Kazoku. Her hands were halfway hidden behind her back but I could see that they were shaking. Her expression was furious, but it wasn't hard to tell that it was a mask meant to distract me from her true emotion. "Don't leave."
I stopped walking. For all the times I could never seem to shut up, I now lacked the ability to think of something to say to that. "Why?" I found my voice working on its own accord.
