Y/N slowly opened his eyes and realized that he is laying on a sand.
"...Po twojej pysznej zupie nie ruszam dupy z klopa. Ta zupa była z mlekiem, na mleko mam alergię..." Angelic voice sang behind him.
He quickly turned around and saw a man in white robe, sitting on a well and facing the sea with a rod in his hand.
"Hello?" He got up and shook off some sand.
"What's up?" Angel spoke with slavic accent "Welcome to afterlife, chosen one!"
"Wait, afterlife?!" Y/N said in disbelief.
"Yup" Angel nodded and pulled out bottle with transparent liquid "You want some vodka? I'm your guardian angel, Grzegorz Bocianahuj, but you can call me Greg"
"So... When I go to hell, how do I sing up for population management jobs?"
"Don't worry you're not going to hell... Albo wiesz co? Walić to. Niechce mi się pierdolić przez pół godziny o hujach mujach i stokrotce. Płacą mi tyle co dziwce pod latarnią i jeszcze muszę codziennie pomagać debilom przejść przez naturalną selekcję. Poszedłbym do piekła, ale tam żona z teściową siedzi..."
"What did you just said?" Y/N looked at Greg with confusion.
"You have been chosen to get stuff and do stuff, all via some bullsh*t rpg system"
"And how that thing works?"
"You get a text floating in front of your face and you follow instructions. Basically slapping some wpierdol to fix things and amen" Greg shrugged.
"This doesn't make any sense. Why the hell would a god need a human to do things for him?"
"It does make sense, unlike your life. You can't just roll in an army of angels to mop a floor. Occasionally, you need a guy to set things on the right track, and not flip the whole society upside down" Greg explained.
"What happens when I commit a bad thing, like a genocide for example?"
"Nothing, sins are on the bar today. Just go there and have it your way"
"And how does that system works?"
"I don't know"
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"I already told you that I didn't read the f*cking manual. Be a man and figure it out yourself"
"And why you didn't did that?"
"Dude, I'm from Poland, we don't read the manuals here!"
"But you're my guardian angel!"
"If you want to know how much fucks I give, then look at your bed"
"Thanks asshole, how do I go to the another world?"
"You just need to lose consciousness"
"Do you have sleeping pills or something?"
"Do I look like kind of angel that would carry that kind of stuff?"
"Yes"
Awkward silence broke between them.
"So, you need a little help going to sleep?" Greg said with menacing smile.
"A little help would be great, as long it won't be painful..."
"Don't worry, I'll be gentle" Greg stuck his fishing rod into sand and got up "Remember, you asked for it!"
Before he could say anything, Greg threw a left hook that knocked him straight into oblivion.
YOU ARE READING
Fate Breaker (Malereader x harem)
HumorEver wanted to land into alternative version of world where demi humans replaced normal humans? Well, you just had to be killed by a Fuze and meet your guardian angel! Now with slightly weird and self-aware RPG system with annoying personality, Y/N...
