I'm still here - YiZhan

Wishing Dawn Never Came

If one would have witness the love they had going for each other - they would understand why it seems so natural for these two souls even on or offscreen.

And a love so pure as theirs never discriminates or judge but lovingly supports and silently suffers.

They walk quietly back to the hotel. Zhan was again processing a lot of thoughts as they walk from back from the lighthouse.

Yibo had been holding Zhan's waist tightly until a little buzz on Zhan's phone startled Zhan himself and he was again brought back to present, sober from his earlier actions. He reach out for his phone, but Yibo tugged his hand back from taking it out. Zhan looked at him and continued to reach out to take his mobile. It seems like Yibo's manager was trying to contact Yibo but is now resorting to Zhan's manager to find him. That was the usual norm.

"Hmm you silent your phone? They are looking for you" Yibo look away just didn't want their time to be interrupted.

"I'll call later" he offered just passing an annoying look. Zhan kept quiet, he wanted to support Yibo in whatever that he feels comfortable with. He understands Yibo had been pack to the brim with his back to back schedule and for him to take such impulsive decision to come here all the way to find him, it would not be easy on him. He kept his phone back in the pocket. They continue to walk quietly back to the hotel with Yibo securing Zhan's hand tightly until they reach the wooden flooring heading the cafe and the hotel.

Zhan was keeping his distant for a bit back at the hotel. He excuses himself to the washroom when they reach the hotel room.

Yibo unintentionally took a glimpse at Zhan's study table and came across the light house artwork he had painted halfway earlier and next to it he saw an open book with a neatly written words, pages and pages of it, conscious Zhan may not like it but he can't help reading it.

In that book were letters and letters that Zhan had written to him since their last parting and he wanted to read them all, he wanted to know everything. It hurts Yibo further to see how Zhan has been self nursing his heart, speaking on a separately wave length  to him and his diary! He had been given the cold treatment whereas this book here had the privilege of listening to Zhan's real feeling.

Furious and envy of how Zhan has deprive him of his actual feelings, foolish of his jealously over a small diary, he must be crazy to even stoop to that.
Conscious Zhan may emerge anytime. He eases himself back on to the sofa but his mind was occupied with that hidden book that Zhan has decided to talk to every night.

Zhan emerges. He felt a silent stare on him. He doesn't like this stare at all. Yibo stood up on his feet and walks over to Zhan. Zhan glance over at his table at the open diary - panic, yibo would have probably seen some of what he has written.

A little glimpse of Zhan's personal diary which consist of Zhan's day to day conversation with him via the diary made Yibo realised how much Zhan has concealed all his feelings locking it up, putting it into the little diary away from him. Feelings that made them so fond and in love everyday then outwardly were now haunted by cold, distant misses that they themselves had now sought to protect their hearts keeping it to themselves, denying each other the chance to express it afraid to feel deeper, afraid what if things turn out for the worst. And they were not wrong, each afraid of the path ahead.

Without any warning he walked over to Zhan and wrap his arms around him, pushing him to the wall., Zhan's heart beat racing. He wasn't sure how to react. They had been so distant yet this look in Yibo's eyes....he miss so much, Yibo's passion that he ignited ever since they took their confession one step further. The same fiery passion starring at him now.