Color my life

Chapter 9

*Emma's P.O.V*

My mind was racing. How were Regina and I sitting across from each other at my kitchen table? How was she able to just sit there so casually while my mind was racing a million miles a minute? Alcohol. I needed alcohol. Now.
I strode over to my pantry and instinctively reached for the bottle of whiskey but my hands also found themselves around the bottle of vodka. I needed something strong to clear my head. I took a swig of the vodka and to my dismay it didn't settle my nerves as much as I was hoping for. I pushed the tall bottle aside and reached for two short glasses and filled them with ice. With a shakey hand I poured in the familiar amber liquid and walked it over to the kitchen table where the unbelievably beautiful brunette, who I was convinced hated me, was sitting.
She flashed me a thankful smile before bringing the glass up to her crimson red lips. My eyes never left her as I took a sip from my own glass.
She kissed me. Again. Why? I liked it. There was no doubt in my mind about that. Hell, I'm pretty sure I want to n do that for the rest of my life. There was something odd about it though. The first time it happened she had been the one who initiated it but she also left immediately after wards. Now here we were, she had once again initiated a kiss but now... Now she was so nonchalant. I couldn't wrap my head around any of it so I just kept sipping on my drink.

We sat in silence for another minute or so before I finally just couldn't stand the silence any more.

"Why?"
I asked. Plain and simple. I wanted answers and I was tired of beating around the bush about it.
She looked at me curiously as if she didn't quite understand the question.

"Why what?"
She questioned back.

"Why did you kiss me? Why did you leave after you did? Why did you kiss me again? Pick one Regina, there are a lot of 'whys' that I would like an answer to."

She sighed as she rolled her ice around in her glass, thinking of the right thing to say.

"Honestly."
She began.
"I don't know why I kissed you the first time. I've thought quite a lot about it myself and the only answer I can seem to come up with is because I wanted to. It broke my heart seeing you so upset about Killian and I... I don't know. It just happened."

I flinched slightly as she said his name. I never wanted to hear that name again. Especially not from her.

"I left because of the look on your face after it happened. You looked so... Confused and obviously upset but I wasn't sure if it was because of me or because you just had your heart broken and I didn't really think that I would want to know the answer. I was scared that I was going to lose you as a friend all because I couldn't control myself and seemingly took advantage of you being vulnerable. I was angry with myself and thought you might be angry with me too. So I left. Now I realize that I shouldn't have. I should have stayed and told you how much you have made me care about you in such a short amount of time and that's why I kissed you the second time, because I care about you immensely Emma Swan."

Silence fell over us again simply because I had no idea what to say. In times like this, I have learned that when you are at a loss for words it is because words are not what is necessary. I placed my glass down on the table and in one swift motion I claimed those crimson lips as my own. As our lips connected once again I thought my heart was going to pound its way out of my chest. Her lips were just as soft and warm as I remembered them. Her lips seemed to fit so perfectly with mine. Why haven't we been doing this our whole lives? I pulled away and looked deep into those beautiful brown eyes that had seemed to color my life in such a short amount of time. Yes I was a bit heartbroken over Killian but it didn't extend much further than simply feeling stupid for allowing him to use me. But this moment with Regina made every bit of Killian's stupid memory fade away.

"I'm guessing that answered your questions."
Regina stated with a nervous chuckle. I simply nodded. I, again, stayed quiet. Not knowing what to say. She always seemed to fire me up and take my breath away. All within seconds. I felt like such a girl around her sometimes. This was one of those times.

"Speechless, I see.Ok. We can keep talking when you're ready."

Fuck. I needed to say something. Anything. Just to make this all feel less awkward.

"I don't want ...whatever this is... To ruin our friendship."
I finally replied.

She gave me a soft smile as her soft hand caressed my cheek.

"That's the last thing I want... You have become so special to me."

I nodded. Wordlessly, I stood up and walked over to my couch. I glanced at Regina over my shoulder, inviting her to follow me. And she did. I honestly didn't want to talk anymore. I didn't quite know what it was that I felt for Regina but it was something that I definitely didn't want to dwell on right now. I mean I just got dumped. Of course he was a narssasistic selfish cheating asshole but that was besides the point. For now I just wanted to be here in this moment enjoying the comfort that Regina's presence alone provided and she seemed to be content with that too. So here we would sit. Basking in each other's company and letting our drinks wash away all of our worries outside of each other. I wasn't one to believe in heaven, but of I had to picture what it looked like, it would be this moment.

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A/N:

Hey guys! Uhhh so I know it has been a loooong time since I've updated this but here you go. I know I say this a lot, but I will try and keep this thing updated, though we saw how that went last time lol. Also thank you all so much for all the love and the reads on this story. It means a lot to me that you guys like it even though I'm suuuper inconsistent with it. Thanks for sticking around ❤

-Liz