Francesca Hallaway is a school teacher who lives in a flat in West Hampstead with her best friend Amelia. Her life is anything but simple, many things having affected her over the years but she considers herself a fairly normal woman, living a fairl...
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"It started in July of 2016
"We're going to the pub and you're coming with us" Amelia states as I sit in my bed, watching Friends.
"Excuse me?" I giggle.
"It's a Friday night and the four of us are heading to the pub for some drinks and since you haven't been out with us in ages, you're coming with."
"Seriously?"
"As serious as a heart attack" Amelia smiles, "Now get ready, we're leaving in 30 minutes!" She calls over her shoulder as she walks out of my bedroom.
We arrived at the pub about an hour later, having managed to grab a taxi in the Friday night rush. When we entered the pub to the smell of alcohol and smoke, I followed my friends through our familiar hangout spot and headed straight to the bar.
"Let's do eight tequila shots?" Jonah suggests at the bar and we all shake our heads but he orders it anyways, getting us some chasers as well.
"I can't believe we're actually taking shots right now" Tommy grumbles and I chuckle, quickly agreeing with him before we get our shots down and head to a table, cocktails in hand.
Our night was spent drinking, dancing and chatting and before I could even process it, Amelia dragged me to the bar to meet some cute guys she had bumped into while on her way to the toilet.
"Okay, there are two of them, one's Luke and he's mine but the other is an absolute cutie and his name is Sam, you've got this" She whispers in my ear as we head towards the two men who watch our moves closely.
"Boys, this is Frankie" She introduces me and I smile awkwardly, waving my left hand while taking both men in. I immediately know Luke is the brunette since Amelia never goes for blondes, insisting she's too loud for them and when Amelia grabs his attention, my suspicions are confirmed.
"That's Luke and I'm Sam" The handsome blonde smiles, his white teeth coming to view making me blush. "And Frankie, yea?" He asks and I nod. "Short for anything?" He asks.
"Francesca, but it seems too formal" I blush and he smiles again.
"Francesca" he repeats in a posh accent making me chuckle, "mind if I call you Fran? Seems to fit you well" He states
"Fran?" I purse my lips and tilt my head teasingly and he chuckles.
"We'll work on it, Fran"
That's where it started.
The next few months went by easily, our relationship progressing and eventually turning into boyfriend and girlfriend. We spent as much time together as we could and everything seemed perfect.
"Bella!" Sam shot up in bed excitedly as we lay next to each other after sharing our first night together.
"What?" I giggle blissfully.
"I'm calling you Bella" He smiles over at me, making my heart melt.
"That's not my name" I laugh and he rolls his eyes playfully.
"I know dummy, but Bella means beautiful in Italian and you're both beautiful and Italian" He kisses me a few times.
As Halloween approached, I got more and more excited since it's my favourite holiday and I begged him to dress up with me for a party that we had been invited to.
"Please dress up with me!" I beg Sam as we lie in bed watching a film.
"Fran" He turns to me, his piercing blue eyes meeting mine and I pout, hoping to get a reaction from him. "Really?" He asks and I nod. "I really don't want to"
"Do it for me?" I ask.
"I'll do anything for you" He sighs in defeat and kisses me softly, "Now what are we wearing?" He asks and I cheer excitedly.
"We're going as Batman and Catwoman!"
We arrived at the Halloween party a few days later, all dressed up and ready to party and everyone complimented our costumes, making me smile brightly and Sam kiss my head happily at my excitement. Halloween has always been a favourite of mine and Sam knew that, that ultimately being the reason he dressed up with me.
Christmas and New Year's were both perfect, we spent our time with our families and then went away over New Year's together before we had to get back to work and reality. The next few months were as normal as a relationship gets, we even moved in together but when we hit May, it was as if something had changed in him. He began shouting at me for the stupidest things like not replying to him in time or not cleaning up the dishes immediately. Then he began belittling me, at every chance he got, he would call me fat or say my hair was too frizzy. It got to a point when we were having sex and he would complain that I wasn't good enough for him and that I just didn't 'fit' him well enough. He often told me he was too good for me, told me he could easily break up with me and find someone better. But then at the end of the night he'd whisper he loved me over and over again. And I foolishly believed every single word.
Then Halloween came and that was honestly the worst. He knew it was my favourite holiday and I had asked him many times if he would dress up with me and each time he said no, insisting it was a child's holiday. But I dressed up and went out with Amelia anyways but soon into the party I decided I had had enough and wanted to go home and be with him, even if it meant missing my favourite holiday. But when I got home he was with someone else and that's when I called it. The abuse had been manageable until that point but when I saw him with her it was as if everything came crashing down on me and reality hit me like a brick. I packed up my stuff that night and moved in with Amelia.
I hadn't realised how bad he actually was until I tried dating again and each time I went on a date, his words would fill my mind and all my insecurities just hit me, bringing up all the bruises he had created that I then realised, had become permanent. But then I started therapy and confronted all of the demons he had created and I thought they were pushed out of my mind for good, until I saw him again and everything came back to me.
That's why I was so emotional last night. I had worked on myself for over a year, coming to terms with his words and I had gotten stronger. Meeting you had also made me stronger, without your knowledge, you constantly make me feel better about myself and honestly help me further move on from his wreckage. I haven't thought about him for a while but seeing him last night, seeing how he still has this stupid affect over me, I just feel like it took me back to a place that I don't want to go to, ever again.
But I think I've learned something from all of this. I didn't sleep much last night so I had a lot of time to think and I came to the realisation that he was a big part of my life, of who I am today and it's useless to try and push back his words as they will just keep coming back to me. I learned that I'm much stronger than he ever thought I was and that I've got someone much better by my side now and without him, I probably wouldn't have met you"
