Committed [DISCONTINUED]

~ PHEONIX ~

Before I start here is a little warning. This chapter contains mentions about eating disorders and if that triggers you in any way, I think now would be a good time to stop reading. These topics are heavy and hard to handle for some people. So please, if this sets off anything, step away. And remember, if you even need anyone, I mean anyone, to talk too. I'm right here. And I'm more than willing to listen.
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Goddamn. When will she stop talking. I'm not rude I promise. At least I think so but hell, why does Eliza get on my nerves so much I want to curse her out in front of everyone.

Though I shouldn't.

I'm supposed to be the nerd girl. So me drawing attention to myself is a no-no. But seriously, I'm getting bored. She won't stop talking about all the boys in our grade and the year above us we're and how cute I would look with another guy being a so called "nerd."

Just today she was glaring daggers at me in biology because Max, the clichéd golden boy, decided to sit by me. Yes, McKinley Ranch is filled with clichés. Trust me, not. fun. at. all. Plus, he's a huge douchebag who doesn't know the meaning of "personal space."

As I turned the corner to my house, where I could finally leave behind my impolite best friend who didn't even turn around to glance at my retreating figure when I yelled out a goodbye and decided to keep walking.

Contrary to popular belief, Eliza and I were strictly school friends. And I'm more than sure that that's all we will ever be. I always used to crave for it to be more but after sophomore year I realized the status of our friendship would probably never change.

They say opposites attract, but we're all human, and sometimes, we can't help but to repel.

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I entered the cold front doorway. My family was well off. We lived on the richer side of town. Unfortunately, I didn't receive as much love as their business. I was the younger sibling so you would expect that I was spoiled my whole life.

People assume. And usually, they're never right.

My siblings were 7 years older than me. One in medical school and one in business school to follow in my parents footsteps.

After telling my parents I wanted to become a high school English teacher, I was shunned even more by my family. If that was even possible. My brother and sister loved me, I knew that, but sometimes I feel like River and Hayden loved my parents a little more.

I was fine with it though, the lack of attention on me gave me comfort. I could skip meals and appease my growing hunger by looking at the swimsuit models taped up on the inside of my closet door and weighing myself in my bathroom.

At that moment, the voice in my mind was telling me to do just that.

So I stepped into my bathroom cautiously.

Look at yourself. So fat. So ugly.

I tried not to look in the mirror and turned myself to face the wall opposing it.

Look down you fat whore. You'll never be as pretty as those models unless you starve yourself.

I looked down.

And I gave in.

I stepped onto the machine and waited a few second before it beeped.

99.7 lbs.

Not enough. No it was not enough.

I was spiralling. And I needed control.

I wasn't there yet.

So I sacrificed my hunger for another day.

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Hey y'all. This chapter was hard for me to write. Every time I tried, I would break down. It was definitely not an easy chapter for me and maybe some of you guys. But as I said at the beginning. If anyone needs someone to talk too or can relate to Pheonix, I'm right here, and again, I'm more than willing to listen.

Until next time, Love y'all♥️