I'm stuck.
Because Gods Dammit, I refuse to be the Stupid Bitch who cannot be alone. I refuse to tell them that I'm afraid. I can't tell them the voices came back. I'm supposed to be better. I'm supposed to be stronger. Hell, a few years back I went through the trouble of having my psychiatrist declare me "Sane and off meds" But all I really want right now is to find a new one and pickup some bars because when the quiet starts, so does the Monster. That monster I had once believed to be free of. That monster I fear more than all.
The anxiety builds like pressure in Earth's core, absolute destruction comes when the pressure breaks. I can feel it building inside of me. And I keep having these damn attacks. Fucking earthquakes destroying the structure in my mind and proving to me I cannot be sane.
How do you have that particular conversation with your loved ones by the way?
"Hey, I just wanted to let you know, I'm kind of crazy, and I started hearing voices in my head again, and I'm scared my Demon might kill me in my sleep.
"By the way, you should't leave me alone, I'm scared to wake up with drawings in my skin again..."
How do you tell people?
When you spent your whole life hiding
Gaps of time stillunexplainably gone, and my biggest fear is that it might start happening again. Because everything else started again... why wouldn't the demon come back?
The Ghost of the Fallen Angel
YOU ARE READING
Random
RandomJust random things that i randomly write for some random reason or another. Some of it is depressing, some isn't. Most of it is found in old journals. All of it is from my heart. (Also I'm condensing most of my older posts on here all onto this one)
