our deleted conversations // a collection of poetry & short stories

the four seasons.

This chapter is focused on The Four Seasons and how they symbolize the constant change and evolution of our own selves as we grow further into the chrysalis of life. The way I see it, is more of a reflection of how nature grows overtime and undergoes a sort of metamorphosis stage.

Sometimes we are forced to go through the darkest of winters and the saddest of autumns, only to soon see the full bloom of flowers in the spring.

welcome to act five.

Act One : Part One
"The Second Summer"

He promised me once that he would return for our first summer together. And that he did, with flowers in his hand and a smile on his lips.

And so, the first summer came and went.

The days passed and we grew colder apart.
Dinner dates were forgotten,
bed always empty at 2am,
and the ivory keys were left unplayed.
Autumn was nearing her arrival.

Winter eventually came, the embers of the fire were now dying. Liquor bottles on the floor were accompanied by the yelling that I couldn't stop.
You had lies on your lips, and lipstick on your neck, anger in your eyes.

Winter came alone, and then left with you.

The flowers we planted were in full bloom in the garden now. The skies were painted a bright shade of blue. Strokes of green grass swaying the fields with the wind, my paintbrush quivering on the canvas. I was healing now.

Spring was upon us.

The days and nights were more clearer again.
I learned how to play the piano by myself.
I adopted a dog, and have been flooding her with hugs and kisses ever since.
The silence was replaced with the music from the vinyl records I play every day.
I had no news from you, and I didn't care anymore.
I was happy.

The second summer came,
and it stayed for a very long time.

Act Five : Part Two
"Flowers In Spring"

The bellmoons you planted
have faded their color
along with the kisses
you left me to remember—

when the snow began to fall
and the days began to falter,
you stormed out the door
with your hands on her shoulder.

When winter ended
your stuff was placed in boxes
and damn I never regretted
how you felt so powerless.

You felt her warmth in the blizzard
and I alone, endured the cold
now you beg for my mercy
but I've no longer the need for your hand to hold.

Act Five : Part Three
"Reminder"

Seasons are one way
to remind ourselves
that no flower remains forever
and that we must face the coldest of winters
in order for us to rise and bloom again.

Act Five : Part Four
"Morning Bliss"

The sun peeks through the thick clouds, and the snow has just started to fall.

I grab my sweater and get dressed.
He's still asleep. Maybe I should make breakfast.

I look over to see him sleeping peacefully under the silk sheets. God, he's so adorable.

Then, a slow kiss on his lips,
an arm pulling me closer,
and my hands on his cheeks.

Good morning.

It's the first day of Winter.
And all is well.

Act Five : Part Five
"The Sakuras and Snowflakes"

It's been four years since the day they told me that I wasn't their son anymore.

"Get the fuck out of my house!"
"I did not raise you to be a queer."
"You have no family here."
"You are NOT my son."

I'm living in Tokyo now,
the Sakura season has just started.
The flowers are in full bloom, and the streets are bustling with people.

"Hey, it's been four years since you've been carrying your guilt. Let them be." — Hikato snapped me out of my thoughts.

They'll never really understand me, but at least, I have Hikato, and our son.

I smile at him, tugging him closer for a kiss.
And then we walk towards the park.

There were a few people there, playing in the snow, taking pictures, or just living the view.

And out of the corner of my eye, I spotted them.
My parents. They're here.

Hikato looks at me, waiting for a response.
"Let them be, right? I have no reason to come back to them anymore." — I hold his hand, blinking back tears and hugging him close.

"Okay." — I whisper, as we walk past them. Their eyes caught in shock.

The day was October 9.
The same day when I was disowned by my family
but was found by Hikato in the midst of the storm.

The Sakura season was amazing.
And I would always pray for better days
with him by my side.

Act Five : Part Six
"Equinox"

Dark days
with no light,
cold nights
and starlight
nestle me
to a lullaby.

Sunrise—
through cloudy skies
and your eyes
looking at mine
waiting to see you
at the brink of midnight.

'Twas a memory
under an autumn field
where your hands
moved in symphonies
and my lips
brought in seasons
of love and loss
and hope and light.

Act Five : Part Seven
"Aurora Borealis"

Looking at it now, I've realized that the days I wasted thinking to myself whether I deserved to love or to be loved was a time that helped me find a reason to keep searching for you.

I have been under the same skies talking to the moon hoping that he would hear me calling out to you.

But now, the days are much more quicker, and the nights have stretched to an eternity.

The auroras are beautiful here.
Your eyes gazing them are unforgettable.

I got my wish.
I got you.

end of act seven.

Author's Note:

Wow, this is a long chapter.
I've been particularly focused on making longer chapters so that I'd be able to challenge myself to create more words than I anticipate. And I also want to thank you all who've been taking time to read this! 60+ reads is more than enough to make me happy!

On another note, Acts Six to Eight will take longer to publish because all the data on my laptop (including my drafts for 6-8) has been deleted and I have no means of recovering them. You can imagine my frustration.

Please do vote for this book or share it with your friends!

THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART.

p.s, Act Six may or may not come out til' Wednesday.

byeeeeeeeee~