our deleted conversations // a collection of poetry & short stories

certainty.

Description:
Humans possess a special mindset of fearing the unknown, that's why we almost rely on absolute certainty our own lives. This act is themed after certainty to remind you that sometimes finding the best things we can have requires us to look into a blurred illusion with bravery, determination, and honesty.

This is "Certainty".

Act Three : Part One
"Once I Told A Story"

We were a beautiful excerpt
from a book you'd once written—
two stories intertwined,
laced upon words you've chosen.

You gave me a promise
that your heart was solely mine
until I saw your lips on hers
— your lips foul with lipstick and red wine.

And damn,
I looked at you both
and decided it was the night
that I would never put
my heart on the line.

So when you broke your promise
and made a choice with her,
I made another for myself
and to leave you begging on the dirt.

Act Three : Part Two
"Absolute"

"I do not know who you are
nor where you have been
and where you came from
and it's ridiculous how this came to be— "

I leaned in, and placed my hand on his chest.

"— but this, I know for sure, has given my heart a reason to try again." 

Eyes looked,
breaths hot,
distance closing in,
and then lips bathing in familiarity.

Act Three : Part Three
"The Wine Glass"

It was easy enough to explain that between the both of us, I was the only one hoping for a future, and he lost interest.

I don't blame him for it, probably because I was so sure that we would have pulled it off together so great that I forgot how one choice could destroy it all.

I lived through the agony. The idea of pain was too redundant to be simply forgotten. All of it ended eventually, for a price.

I remember so vividly, how we had our last dinner, how he nudged the papers in front of me to sign, how he left without saying goodbye.

I remember how I got drunk on the wine, how I stumbled my way to the bathroom, razor in hand, cutting up skin. And how the bed seemed to be bigger without him by my side.

But for once, he made a choice for us.
So maybe I'm proud of him,
but fucking destroyed by the consequences.

Act Three : Part Four
"12 Midnight"

If I could
— go back,
I gladly
would do.

But I can't stand
to look at the ring
you slid on my finger
the day we promised forever.

So here I am,
wasted at the bar,
asking rhetorical questions
at the bartender.

"Damn, what did you get into?"
— he asked while cleaning a shot glass.

"A really bad heartbreak I need to forget."
— I answer fuzzily, the smell of alcohol lingering on my shirt.

"Need help getting home? My shift ends in a couple minutes." — his eyes looked stunning up-close.

This is a bad move,
but fuck it,
I'm terrible at making good choices
but amazing in doing bad decisions.

Act Three : Part Five
"A Precursor"

Excuses aren't a prologue
for a damn explanation
so keep saying that you didn't do it,
I don't believe in uncertainty anyways.

end of act three.

Author's Note:
Yo, so I decided that I'll be uploading one act every week (maybe two, if I'm able to).

that's everything. byeeeeeeeee~