Exclusively Mine

Day 1

So welcome back again and again and again. It is currently 12:30 p.m. where I am living. So I woke up at 10. So the first thing that I do is check my phone. Like every other person in the world. I had a "good morning baby" message waiting for me. I replied back. And then I went to freshen up myself. Had my breakfast. And when I was just mindlessly scrolling through tiktok videos because they do pass your time very well, I got a call. A video call to be exact. We talked for 3:35 minutes. Go figure. And then he abruptly disconnected because someone might have come over there. See because we live in this locality, we have to keep our relationship under wraps. So nobody can know about it. I will not lie and say that it didn't hurt. It did. But since I am healing myself, the first step is know where the problem lies. The second one is to keep your mind away from all the negativity. So as soon as the hurt popped into my head, I gently coaxed myself towards positivity. I made myself believe that he did what was necessary to do. Even I would have done the same. And right now, I am just aimlessly doing anything. I am missing him right now and I really really want to talk to him but he is studying so I can't. I am going to write one or two good things about loving yourself in order to solidify my believe.

I am beautiful. I am happy. And I am worth every thing in the world.

Since it's day one, I believe it's going to be a little difficult in the beginning of this journey. But this is a journey that I have chosen to walk into. And by myself. Because I am the only one who is going to stay with me forever. Also I am feeling a little better headache because of thinking this much and compelling my brain to act in a certain way. To believe a certain thing. But this is necessary. And in the end, it will all be worth it. There is this one thing that my boyfriend taught me that "self-love isn't selfish". I believe there will be times when I will be desperately wanting to talk to him but it is then when I have to truly master my mind. Throughout my life I have been a slave to my emotions. But now is the time when I want to be the master. When I want to be in control.
Also I have learnt about a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I haven't tried it now but I will trying it sooner or later.

So before anyone else starts practicing the art of emotionally detaching yourself, you first need to find out if you are over dependent on somebody. I will name a few things to give you a head start.
1) You will always want to spend time with them
2) You will think about them even when you are really busy.
3)  Their mood will affect your mood.
4) You won't say or do anything that can make them angry even though you really want to do it.
5) You will start lying in order to make them happy.
6) You will never want to anything on your own. You will always want to include them in your activities.
7) If they do anything without you, you will be upset. You will start  thinking that they are giving up on you.
8) You will always feel as if you are not worthy of them.

That is all I can think of right now. If I remember anything else, I will mention it. If you remember anything else, do comment about it, so that others can know better.

I feel as if I am going to add more in this chapter only but right now I am feeling good. When the next time I desperately want to talk to him, I will talk to you guys instead.

It's 10:36 p.m. over here. Today was an easy day. I was really busy helping my father in his office works. And it went for a very long period. From three in the afternoon to 9 p.m. Then I had my dinner. Made some delicious, mouth watering Oreo milkshake. Took a shower. Tried dancing a little bit. Albeit I am a decent dancer but then I guess I wasn't really in the mood to dance today. And I thought I should update a little bit. Also we have talked for about 3-5 minutes after I had my dinner. But then again since I guess it's the first day, my will power is really strong. I just hope it doesn't deteriorate as days pass by. Also I will sleeping a little early today because the work was really tiring. I will probably be talking to him for an hour or so before I sleep.

So today I learnt that I should keep myself busy. Busy doing something productive. Not just mundane because then I am really going to call him sooner or later. And I don't want that. So tomorrow's update will be mostly about the hobbies I will be practicing and honing. Let's just take small steps everyday. I believe we will make it. That is it for today I guess.

Till then,
Fall in Love with yourself