melodramatic sheets.

hope.

hope: (noun) a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen

you keep giving me hope.

hope is a dangerous yet fragile thing. you have me hanging onto the last bit of hope and you are playing with it. you know that i would come back to you and you're taking advantage of it. your words are sweet like candy but they're poison to my heart.

you tell me you don't want this anymore and i must admit, it hurt more than i thought it would. it felt as if someone ripped my heart out of my chest and took it with them. you told me you don't want a relationship with me and you're still here telling me you love me. you're showering me with compliments yet it still makes me feel dirty. sometimes i feel like i don't deserve your attention but i realized you gave it to me when you felt alone and bored while i gave you mine unsolicited.

it's so easy to let you tell me you care about me and to let you say you still want me because it's what i want to hear from you. i still have all of this love for you in my heart and i want it to come out just with you telling me good morning but i need to stop myself because reality kicks in and i realize that you're still not mine again.

you're giving me hope but i'm giving myself that as well. i keep telling myself that you'll realize that this was stupid and a mistake and fix it by coming back to me because we belong together. i keep telling myself that maybe you still do love me and that's why you're telling me sweet things. i keep thinking that maybe you do end up picking me after all in the end.

you made it clear that you couldn't pick me and you named some obvious reasons but i also made it clear that despite those i still picked you. i keep telling myself that i deserve better. i deserve someone who will pick me and never stop being sure about it. that despite it all i'm the one they truly love and want to be with. i deserve this and so much more but i still am here picking you and it's a choice i don't regret but a choice that is hurting me more than making me feel happy.