Cadence

Clair de Lune

"I missed that sound of yours. Beautiful solo."

So many questions in my head. Did I hear that right? Did I actually receive a compliment from Maestro Hyun Bin? What version of this maestro do I get this time, the cold and emotionless one or the warm somewhat outgoing one?

And also, was it still the same baton that I gave him? The same custom Mollard baton that I gave him for his birthday? Why was he still using it? Why does he still have it?

And why are there so many questions in my head? Overthinking everything when he just called my solo "beautiful". I could just ask all these questions straight up because he was right in front of me.

And he said, "I missed that sound of yours". Was it just the sound? Was it the solo? 

I went to home to my unit that night after a quick dinner with Maestro Lee and some our former professors. It was such a good distraction after that rehearsal. And as expected, Bin didn't join us. He politely declined the offer and said he has some scores to study and mark at home. Typical Hyun Bin, perfectionist. Not taking anything lightly, never leaving anything to chance.

My family has been living in Los Angeles ever since I studied in Germany, so our condo unit has been empty for quite some time. With only the weekly visit from our helper, nobody has stayed in our unit. So I was surprised to see how clean it still was. Our 2 bedroom unit was the most convenient spot for me as it was situated near the university. I only had to walk 3 streets to get to school.

Too tired, I went to bed and studied my score for our next rehearsal. I was physically and mentally exhausted from today's rehearsal. It was only around 10 PM, when I got a message.

Good Evening Miss Son!

Piano rehearsal with Maestro Bin tomorrow afternoon, 5 PM.

Dean's Studio

Please confirm, thank you,

Han Ji Min, Orchestra Coordinator

I immediately confirm. A piano rehearsal with the conductor is essential for any soloist. The accompaniment skills of a conductor are very important, The conductor has to put his own ego behind him and be a partner with the soloist. And Hyun Bin, before being one of the top conductors in the region, was an award winning pianist.

This South Korean classical pianist won the prestigious Queen Elisabeth Competition in 2004, which is partly what helped to propel him to global celebrity. He was the youngest ever student to attend Julliard. He was also the youngest-ever winner of the Premier Grand Prix. He has performed and continues to perform at many of the world's great concert halls, including The Lincoln Center, Wigmore Hall in London, the Salle Pleyel and Théâtre des Champs-Élysées, and more.

I lie in bed, chamomile tea on my bed side to help me sleep, listening to the Mozart Clarinet Concerto once more. How ironic that my homecoming concert solo piece is the same piece that we performed the last time we saw each other. I know I have performed it multiple times already, also being one of the most famous clarinet concertos ever made, but it's just ironic. No two interpretations are the same. How I played it 6 years ago with Bin will surely be not the same when we perform it for the homecoming concert.

Has the sound matured? How different will the sound be? The core of creating and articulating musical ideas seems to be 100% instinctive. Like an intuition or a reflex, it has an immediacy to it, and in that way it feels like an active interplay between unconscious and conscious experience. Something that you can never really control, but you can learn to harness. What will our intuitions say this time? Last time we performed this, I was crushed to my core. I was heartbroken. But we performed well. Nobody realized the pain that we both were going through. What will our reflexes make us do this time?