Cadence

Improvisation

The world around us felt meaningless.

Nothing could have possibly meant more than us, nothing could have more beauty. The space between us suddenly ceased to exist. Time stopped. The stars imploded and the moon shone brighter than ever. Except for the two of us, nothing else mattered.

And I was falling fast, craving his scent and the feeling of him being so close to me again after all these years, unsure where he ended and where I began. His entrancing eyes, his captivating smile, his perfect hair and his hands, those pianist hands in perfect rhythm with mine.

His lips was as how I remembered it. It was soft like rain, yet it sent a shock through me like lightning.

But my stupid stupid lungs seemed to have lost all air and I had to breathe. I had to pull away and catch my breath.

We looked at each for what seemed like eternity. I felt the heat rise up to my face. He was turning red as well.

Yet again, the rhythm was lost. Just because I had to breath. Why did I have to breath now?

He finally spoke, "Mianhae, I shouldn't have done that." His deep baritone voice.

"Bin, what does this mean?" I asked.

Before he could answer, his phone rang. "Yeoboseyo Maestro?" He answers.

What a lifesaver from this awkward moment. Minutes before, I felt his lips crash onto mine. My heart was just about ready to explode. Couldn't even feel my feet. My tempo was all but erratic. No definite key, pitch was all over the place.

What did this mean?  First time to be in one room with him alone and we already fought intensely as we did years back. Hurling those unresolved questions, those issues that were never resolved.

And yet, first time to be in one room with him alone, we kissed. No borders. Freely moving music, no strict tempo, no definite key, free rhythmic style. I look at Bin who was avoiding my eyes as he talked on the phone.

Two can play this game, if doesn't want to talk about it, then I won't be the first one to give in. It can be just a spur of the moment kiss. Maybe it meant nothing.

Its was as if the Grave first movement of the Sonata Pathetique opening chords made my soul open up once more, tasting, feeling, seeing every color and timbre each measure in their own sensual way. Like breathing in the person like a cool inhalation of oxygen to warm the soul. Like nothing in the world existed at that time but him and me.

Six years later and his kiss still leaves me breathless. My feelings, which cannot be put into words, nor has there get been any part of speech or figure of speech invented to describe how that kiss felt.

It was as if no time had passed, as if we haven't been separated for years and by those miles apart.

I have to shrug this off, I tell myself. I cannot be bothered by that. That kiss.

Bin turns to me and gives me his phone, it was Maestro Lee. "Yejinsshi! I was telling Bin be your accompanist for Thursday's Cultural Center Gala, just 2 pieces? Nothing too fancy, everybody knows you as the virtuoso from Germany. And Bin has already said yes to this."

Bin already said yes? Classic Bin, deciding for me without telling me first.

"But Maestro, that's already 2 days." We may be world-class artists but rehearsing is of extreme importance. It's a MUST. And besides, Bin and I haven't collaborated in years. What made him think that this is a good idea? I remember being invited just to attend but not to perform.